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Poking idiots in the eye since 2002
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I have a self-mock that I've been holding onto for a long time, not… 
24th-Apr-2006 07:44 pm
I have a self-mock that I've been holding onto for a long time, not because self-mocks are frowned upon, but because it's so mind-numbingly dumb that I didn't want to admit that it happened to me.

I normally consider myself an intelligent person. I could whine defensively about grades and test scores, but everyone knows that sort of thing doesn't matter if you haven't been gifted with a little thing called common sense. I'm one of those people who, when presented with a problem, immediately conceives of the most difficult possible solution and struggles gamely on until inevitable defeat.

This happened a few years ago, when I was going to use my brand spanking new debit card at an ATM for the first time. I headed over to my local bank-within-a-grocery-store. Upon finding that the bank branch was already closed for the day, I headed to the ATM that was located at the store exit.

What I saw was nothing like the ATMs that I was used to. Instead of several slots and a big screen with helpful instructions, there was a huge black boxy thing with a few blinking lights and a teeny tiny number keypad near the top. I assumed it was some outdated form of ATM that the store hadn't bothered to replace. And even though I had no idea how to use it, I was determined to figure it out for myself. After all, I really needed cash.

After 5 to 10 minutes of searching for a place to stick my card, a nice woman came up and informed me that the ATM was outside of the store. I was, in fact, struggling to figure out how to use the back of it. (Bless her, I don't know how she kept a straight face.)

What makes this especially stupid is the fact that:
A) My mother had used this ATM several times before when we were out shopping together.
B) I had to pass the front of the ATM on my way into the store.
C) I honestly don't think I would have figured out what I was doing wrong without help.

Worst of all is the fact that the back of the ATM was in full view of the store's security cameras (as shown on the closed circuit TV screen by the entrance). I was lucky that this incident didn't end with me being hauled away by security and questioned as to why I was trying to break into their ATM.
25th-Apr-2006 08:52 pm (UTC)
Ack, sadly enough, I could see myself doing that. :) Don't feel bad.
25th-Apr-2006 08:55 pm (UTC)
ah, well. we all have our moments. I can remember the first time I used one (this would be many many years ago), I laughted like a mad woman. I thought it was so funny that money spit out of a machine in a wall.
25th-Apr-2006 08:56 pm (UTC)


*giggles more*

(Deleted comment)
25th-Apr-2006 09:35 pm (UTC)
It may be so that it can be serviced. Usually when they're refilled, the courier just opens the front, but who knows, in this case. That would also be why cameras were trained on it. (My husband used to be an armed courier for Loomis Fargo; refilling ATMs was part of his job. He liked to say he was working as a hired gun.)
(Deleted comment)
25th-Apr-2006 10:37 pm (UTC)
There's a 500 pound vault inside the machine. Other than fucking up the modem, there's not much they can do.
25th-Apr-2006 10:29 pm (UTC)
Icon love to the OP!
25th-Apr-2006 10:37 pm (UTC)

25th-Apr-2006 11:43 pm (UTC)
Hey, on the bright side, at least you don't say "ATM machine" X3
25th-Apr-2006 11:59 pm (UTC)
25th-Apr-2006 11:59 pm (UTC)
The back was just hanging out in the open? All the ATMs I've ever seen are up against something... :/
26th-Apr-2006 12:10 am (UTC)
The entrance to the store is just a bunch of automatic glass doors. In the middle of them (on the outside) is the ATM. Since the wall with the glass doors is so thin, the back of the ATM hangs out into the little "lobby" area where they keep all the carts.

If that made any sense. It's hard to describe.
26th-Apr-2006 12:47 am (UTC)

that sorta thing happend to me and my step mum yesterday, actulary...
she spent ages, looking for one, until she found the back of one, and i'm like..its on the other side, and yeah...i know what it's like!!
26th-Apr-2006 11:59 am (UTC)
Self mocks are important. How will you learn otherwise?
(My friend has mocked me on this site, so I should know...)
26th-Apr-2006 12:10 pm (UTC)
oh man. That's well.
It's finals week here, I can see myself doing something like that
27th-Apr-2006 12:06 am (UTC)
Me, when I'm presented with a problem, I fully and completely commit to the best possible course that will cause blood to come out of me
29th-Apr-2006 01:04 am (UTC)

Usually self mocks aren't funny, but yours is one of the funniest things I've seen here in a while. :)
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