December 19th, 2006

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Some Serious Dumb in the News

HAWTHORNE, Fla. - A North Carolina woman was arrested after complaining to a police officer that the crack cocaine she had just purchased wasn't very good, authorities said.

Eloise D. Reaves, 50, approached the Putnam County sheriff's deputy at a convenience store Friday, telling him that another man had sold her "bad crack" that contained wax and cocaine.

She pulled an alleged crack rock out of her mouth and placed it on the deputy's car for inspection, the Palatka Daily News reported for Tuesday editions.

The deputy told Reaves that she would be arrested if the crack tested positive for cocaine.

She was charged with possession of cocaine and bonded out for $1,504.

Source: Woman tells cop she bought 'bad crack' - Yahoo! News


(no subject)

I just came back from a 2 week trip to Mexico. We drove there and back. On the way back to California, we stopped at a Rest Area in Arizona. My mom and I were in the bathroom. My mom is light skinned and could easily pass for white. I on the other hand, am not and it is obvious i am from latino decent. So we were in the bathroom and i was leaning against the sink talking to my mom through the stall in English. During our conversation i mentioned how happy i was to go back HOME, to LA. A girl about 15ish walked in. She stared at me for a long time. I tried not to look at her but i could feel her eyes staring me down. I looked at her and she approched me. In a very loud and slow tone she asked "ARE YOU FROM MEXICO? HOW DO YOU LIKE AMERICA? A - M - E - R - I - C A A A A..."

i looked at her for a few minutes trying to take in what just happend. I replied with "Born and raised in LA"

and she said "well your english is very good" and gave me a thumbs up.

a similar one...

I went to a predominantly white middle school. On day in my humanities class we had to read the poems we had to write for homework the the previous night. I got up and read mine. A lot of people liked it. I sat down and when the next kid got up to read his, the kid sitting next to me whispered in my ear "your english is very good, when did you move to america?"
eine Frau

(no subject)

Last night the local zoo had a Christmas light show going on and I took my camera/tripod to show pictures to my sister when I got home. I'm busy taking a picture of some light-animal or another when this girl and her boyfriend walk by and she spits out this gem:

Girl: What's that thing called? An iPod?
Boyfriend: Try adding a T and an R to the front of that.
Girl: I can't spell in my head!

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Geek Love

I wouldn't want to hurt my puppy's manhood...

From the depths of a sick, twisted and perverted mind, comes forth a brand of stupidity not yet seen or studied. From the thoughts of an animal molester comes...


This immoral, abnormal man thinks that through preventing canines and felines from going "the trauma" of neutering, he can somehow redeem his crushed manhood. At the same time, he offers exquisite merchandise for those obsessed with fake testicles. Such as the neuticles ballcap, which proclaims "It's like nothing ever changed!" or the neuticles testicle necklace!

If you ever can't find your balls, you can always purchase some of these. Who could tell the difference?

Prices range from $94 for the not-so-ballsy, to $919 for the grapefruit sized, made from Epididymis with ScarRetard technology and bound to leave you feeling manly.

I know I want a pair.

Anger+ Stupidity + Alcohol = fires?

Authorities are still investigating a fire Tuesday morning that burned a house to the ground.

The occupants inside managed to escape.

Firefighters were called to the home on County Road 476 shortly after 7 am and found the structure fully engulfed in flames.

From what they've been able to piece together, State Police say this is how they believe the fire started: The homeowner, Stephen Rautio, got in a dispute with his girlfriend, and proceeded to cut up his Christmas tree with a chain saw.

Officials say he was intoxicated.

They say he then tried to stuff the cut-up tree in a wood stove, but apparently not successfully.

The house caught fire, as a result. It's a total loss.

Rautio was treated at Bell Hospital for injuries suffered in the dispute with his girlfriend.

Wow... just wow.