December 13th, 2006

budgie kimono
  • ltdead

2 unrelated tales.

Tale one:
When I was teaching English in Japan, we would occassionally play Jeopardy. One of my teachers enjoyed the category 'capitals,' and this was a word the students all knew and understood. One of the more difficult questions asked 'What is the capital of Canada?'

Now, I don't blame them for not knowing the answer. I didn't know the answer. But the answers they did give...?
"Iceland!"
"New Zealand!"
"CALIFORNIA!"

Tale two:
I was riding the train home one day, and glancing out the window I recognized an intersection I'd often driven through with friends. An intersection that had train tracks going through it. The first thought that popped into my head was "Huh. I didn't know the train crossed tracks here. Wait... Where're the tracks? ... oh yeah. We're on them."
eeyore

(no subject)

recent msn conversation with my sister

her: England isn't in Europe
me: what?? of course it is! where is England if its not in Europe?
her: it's in the UK
me: the UK is part of Europe you drop kick
her: but European people aren't English
me: ???

I linked her map of Europe and explained the continents, but she started talking about something else..
Tiago - RiR

This is more of a bizarre than stupid mind...

on a brutal and straightforward lj community we all love so much:

Now. I know this is going to sound like I'm making it up but I swear it's the truth.

I don't believe in other planets.

I have no idea why. I've studied documents, websites, books, everything I can about these planets, yet I still can't make myself believe in them. I don't deny they may exist, I just can't believe they do.

Aliens? I don't believe in them, obviously, but am still open to the fact they may exist. Which when people find out about this, not very often, seems to make them angrier. Angrier since I am open to the idea they may be real, but just don't believe it myself.

I do believe in God. But I'm also really drawn to Gnosticism, which is weird because I don't believe in planets!




do I really need to say more???
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Ishida -- Jackass

The joys of uni

From the final I just finished taking:

"Part II: Essays
Please answer all questions BRIEFLY, keeping your response TO THE POINT. You are NOT writing an essay."

Um? Now, there are some things we can overlook because the prof is not a native speaker of English, and his grasp of parts of speech is a bit iffy. This, though... heh.
iFrog

(no subject)

This mock_the_stupid post is brought to you by my 14 year old sister.


Me *quizing my sister*: What is half of one million?
Her: 1,000?
Me: O_o No... Half of one million is 500,000. Given that, what is 1/4 of a million?
Her: 25,000?
Me: *headdesk*
______________

Her: *mumbles something about a cane*
Me: Oh, like Cain and Abel?
Her: Who's that?

*She has attended Christian schools for the past 11 years. She should know this!
_______________

Me: What's another word for a rooster?
Her: Turkey?
______________

Me: *talking while distracted, accidently confused the words computer and television*
Her: Hahaha! You're such an idiot! You thought the TV was dinner!
Me: Um, riiight. And *I* am the idiot here?
_____________

And one by my best friend:
Her: *flipping through a book I was reading and yelling out random sentances/words* Kamakazi!
Me: *confused* What? Where does it say that? I don't remember anything about kamakazi in there.
Her: Yeah, but it's spelled really weird. *shows me the book*
Me: *looks over the page* I don't see it.
Her: *points* Right there, see? It says kamakazi, but it's spelled weird.
Me: Um, that says comatose, not kamakazi.
Her: Oh. What's comatose?
Me: *headdesk*
  • Current Mood
    bored bored
I love my Chevy pup

BoA Stupidity!

I was recently given to read a letter from a co-worker, sent to her from her bank. She lives in Moriarty, NM which is just over the east mountains from Albuquerque, NM where we work. She was telling me about she had attempted to use her debit card that past weekend (this was a Thursday) just east of Moriarty - still in New Mexico. Her letter from Bank of America read

Dear Ms. G****s:

We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience you were caused by your bank card being inoperative.

However, in the interest of safeguarding our customers, we do not allow the bank cards to work outside of the United States unless we've been previously informed of their travel plans. The safety of your account is our number one priority!

In order to avoid this sort of inconvenience in the future, please alert us to your travel plans when they include travelling outside of the U.S.

Again, we truly apologize for any trouble this has caused you, and hope you understand our reasoning behind declining the use of your card at that time.

Sincerely,

Bank of America

HAHAHAHA!!! I honestly almost fell out of my chair laughing. She told me that when she called and talked to them about it they just said "oh, oops" and never even apologized or anything.

Although, I worked customer service at this company for a brief time, and spoke with one of our dealers who was in Michigan. He said "Where are you located?" I said "Albuquerque, New Mexico" he said "wow, you speak really good english. Does your company have a good training program?" Ummm.

O.o
  • Current Music
    Medusa scrawking in the background
Monroe

(no subject)

Just a small self-mock.

Between classes, I was discussing cows with a friend.

Me: Cows don't really do much, they just stand around and chew grass.
Him: And sit down sometimes.
Me: Cows sit down??

After a pause I realized what I'd just said. What makes it REALLY bad is that I go to a lot of fairs and go through the animal barns. I see cows sitting all the time.
cute hat
  • opalcat

Deleting comments... a word

If you mess up something in your comment and want to delete it and repost, that's fine. If you say something and then turn around and think better of it and delete it...well, ok...

...but once people have replied to your comments, please don't delete them. And really, really don't do this: (thread) because it just disrupts the whole thread and pisses everybody off. This is not much different, in my opinion, from the bannable offense of deleting other people's comments. Depending on your other behavior, this may be enough to push me over into the realm of deciding to ban you.
Bad Kitty

Recyclables

I don't know if this was stupid or lazy. I'm going with stupid since there was a "normal" waste basket five feet away.

I was coming out of the grocery store and one of the employees was valiantly trying to stuff a bunch of loose flyers and assorted garbage into the drinking can/bottle sized hole on the top of a large blue and white "Recyclables" can. The one with bright yellow signs stating, "Please do not use for trash" and "Recyclables Only"

It was a real struggle because some of that trash just didn't want to go through that little hole!
closets...

College student encounter

I was talking to this guy in my program and I happened to mention that I was going to Montreal for the weekend for my dating anniversary. Now, I'm sure I said her or she at least three or four times before this, but this is how the conversation went anyway:

Classmate: So, how long have you been going out with him?
Me: Her, and 2 years.
Classmate: What? You're dating a girl? I didn't think lesbians existed. I thought that was just something they made up for TV.

I looked at him funny, but didn't say anything. I didn't bother telling him I'm actually bi. That probably would have confused him even more.
  • Current Music
    Speak to Me- Pink Floyd
Tigers logo

Wow...

This is from a few years ago, courtesy of my high school volleyball coach.

We were driving to a tournament very early on a Saturday morning, and it was really snowing hard outside. About half of our team was in the van our coach was driving, including myself. All of a sudden, something on the van stopped working and we slid over to the side of the road. We didn't crash or anything, but we were stuck on the side of the road and the van wouldn't start. So Coach decided to call the dad of one of the girls on the team.

She tells him what's going on, and he asks where we are.

Coach: "Well, we're going up, so we must be going north!"

We all boggled at each other, but the conversation went on:

"I don't know what's wrong with it! Here's what it sounds like:"
*holds cell phone up to dashboard while turning key in ignition*
"Can you hear it?"

Wow...