December 7th, 2006

cute hat
  • opalcat

Me and my photographic memory, plus how I'm psychic and all that

When I moderate the submissions to this community, there are rarely fewer than 25 or so in the queue (that is about a half a day's worth of posts) and often the queue is full at 50 if I've been busy, as I have recently with the end of the semester and all. So keeping in mind that I'm reading through 25-50 posts, and typically rejecting over half... maybe you will see the stupid:

It boggles my mind how often I get an email to the mod email address that simply asks "why was my post rejected?"
Because A) I memorize all the posts, especially the ones that weren't good enough to approve
and B) I pay close attention to who submits the posts*
and of course C) I magically know that "janedoe243@yahoo.com", who signs her emails "Sara", is the same person as "moonvixen83" on LJ whose post I rejected.**

Come ON people. If you want to know why your post was rejected (for specific reasons, I usually do post a little note with it. For posts that are just generally boring, I don't) then help me out a little and actually TELL ME WHAT IT WAS or even better, PUT IT IN THE EMAIL when you ask me. But to save you the trouble, it generally breaks down to about 90% stupid but boring (the story itself is just a dud or sometimes it could have been ok but you suck at writing and you killed it in the telling) and about 5% that I really can't call exceptionally stupid. The remaining 5% are things that have already been posted, things I think you made up, things that I found interesting and stupid, but not funny (such as posts about parents harming their kids by doing stupid things) or posts that violate the rules (most often the rule about abbreviations when posting conversations)... and for those I will generally write a note.


*I honestly almost never even look, I go right to the post. Sometimes the icon wiill catch my eye, but virtually never the name
**made-up example

EDITED TO ADD: Oh yeah, sometimes I reject a post because it's too similar to another recent post or trend of posts. For example, I get a LOT of submissions about people who don't know geography... I let very few of these through just because they are all so similar, and because if I let them all through, this would become mock_the_geographically_ignorant very quickly.
acute boogiemania

(no subject)

I found this on the "We hate Kitlers" section of www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com:

I myself think this site is a disgrace.:( Hitler killed everything living thing there was and he would kill these cute cats if he was still here. Thank you.
- Rockell
mara blues
  • thayett

Cash is hard.

I took my sister to the mall to do some Christmas shopping. We went to the Apple store, and Sister saw an iPod accessory that she wanted. Cool, cool, it's all good. I tell her I'll meet her outside the store (there's couches! and not as crowded!) and go wait for her.

And wait.

And wait.

Finally, I head back into the store to see what the problem is, and this is what I find:

Sister, standing at register, waiting for change. Clerk and clerk's supervisor trying to figure out how to deal with cash.
Ellen Page---side of head

(no subject)

I'm in college. My friend leans over to me the other day and asks:

"How do you spell hay?"

-_-

Ok. Still at college. My friends and I are eating lunch upstairs and we're talking about how weird it is that there's no bathrooms upstairs (we found out later there were...but that's irrelevant). My friend Jeremy goes:

"Wait...isn't that, like, a fire hazard?"

I don't know what's funnier, the fact that he said that, or when he explained later that he said it because he thought that you would put out the fire with the water from the sinks and the toilets.

(no subject)

A few weeks ago, I was playing the game Taboo with a few roommates. For those of you that don’t know the game, there are 4 players, 2 players per team. Player 1 on one team has to get their partner to say a word printed on a card. On the card there are also five words the player can't say during the round. For example, if you have to get your partner to say the word "cat", you can't say feline, dog, animal, Garfield, or whiskers, or any other form of those words.

So, I was watching a girl on the other team's card. She had to get her partner to say Picasso (she couldn’t say words like paint, abstract, etc). She said, "He made the Mona Lisa."
It took all I had not to start laughing at her, but then her partner said, "Picasso!!"

Edit: This wasn't an inside joke, because afterwards when I told them that they were wrong about it, they Googled it to see who was right.
prophets

Well, it IS Katy, Texas, after all...

So, I just read this article that was posted by someone on my Friends list. The Katy Islamic Association is planning to build a mosque in the small town of Katy, Texas. There's been a bunch of outcry from the community (and by "outcry" I mean "rampant stupidity", of course). The entire article is below the cut; I've bolded the especially stupid parts (the very last sentence of the article is an absolute prizewinner, by the way).

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Firebird

(no subject)

A friend of mine runs a sandwich stall in Manchester and a couple of weeks ago she got a customer who came up, looked at the baskets of bread on display, pointed to one (which was full) and said, 'Do you have any of these?'
*facepalm*
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cute hat
  • opalcat

Just a note

I have no problem with the idea of joining a community just to make a post, but you need to be aware of something:

You have to be a member of the community for your submission to post to the community. That means that you have to be a member to submit your post, and you have to be a member when your post in the queue is approved and posted to the community. It happens from time to time, but has happened several times recently where I'll go to approve a post only to have it throw me an error because the person submitted their post, then un-joined the community. So remember, wait for the approved/rejected email before leaving the community!

One popcorn, no butter

In highschool and part of college, I worked 5 summers in a pool concessions stand, and the last two I spent managing it...while I could write a book about the stupid (mostly my coworkers), this is one of my favorites:

Fade to the summer of 2000, my third summer there, and my year of assistant managing. It's 8:00 in the morning, about 110 degrees, and I'm tired and pissed about being up so early.

Random kid and mom walk up to the concessions stand.
Note: We do make popcorn, the kind without the pour on butter, just the stuff where it pops in the "butter flavoring".

Mom, acting all excited: We'll have one popcorn
Kid: With no butter!
Me: I'm sorry, we don't start serving popcorn until 10:00, and our popcorn comes with butter already on it.
Mom: But my son is allergic to butter
Me: Well, it's butter flavoring, here are the ingredients if that helps (I hand her a package with ingredients list).
Mom: He can't eat that (said accusingly)
Me: I'm sorry, that's what we have
They leave in a huff.

Two weeks later, 8am
Same kid: One popcorn, no butter!!!!
Me: I'm sorry, the popcorn comes with the butter already on it. Remember, your mom looked at the package?
Kid: Well, she said you'd change it by now so I could have some!
Me: I'm sorry, we can't change it at all, our popper can only pop this type of popcorn.
Kid: Fine (walks off all upset).

This occurred several times that summer

Cue summer 2001, I am a manager, and finally have the authority to actually say more of what's on my mind

Same kid and his mom walk up
Kid: One popcorn, no butter
Me: I'm sorry, our popcorn comes with the butter already on it, and it's the only type we can make.
Kid's mom: Well, what is he supposed to eat?
Me: I'm not sure what he can have.
Mom: Well, he's allergic to...(she lists like 15 things, most of which I've never heard of).
Me: Well, I'm not sure if we have anything that doesn't have that in it.
Mom: He's HUNGRY!!!
Me: I'm sorry. I really can't help you.

This occurs several times this summer

Finally, it's summer 2002, my last summer there (thank goodness!)

Opening day, here comes the kid alone, he's probably about 10 at this point
Kid: One popcorn, no butter!!!!!
Me (hungover): I'm sorry, but we have the same popcorn as last year.
Kid: Well, I can't have that.
Me: I'm sorry
Kid: You know, we could sue you for not accomodating my disability.
Me: You could?
Kid: Yes. You have to have food I can eat.
Me: I really don't think we have to.
Kid: Yes you do.
Me: Well, it won't happen today, because I can't make it magically appear.
Kid: we're totally suing you
Me: Ok...

two days later...

Kid: One popcorn, no butter!!!

Repeat about 6 times that summer.

I have no words.
Lindsay

(no subject)

I think I should make it my mission to hunt down whoever did these at my work.

I was skimming over the list of things that had been listed as defective or broken merchandise because I have a mild compulsion to read everything I see. I saw that a candle making kit had been listed on there because of "broken contense."

*facepalm*

A while ago we got in a bunch of Hanukkah toys and they were all in boxes back where our break area is. Normally the boxes come labeled, but sometimes they need to have stuff written on them. I notice that one has HANAKA written in big huge letters on it. The best part? It was placed above a box that had it written correctly in big huge letters.

Speaking of Hanukkah, my friend had a great moment a couple years ago. My orchestra was putting on a holiday concert and we were practicing our Christmas pieces. She turns to her stand partner and goes "They can't make me play Christmas music. What if I'm Hanukkan?"

(no subject)

(repost from customers_suck)

This happened a lot with Madden, and just happened again recently.

Customer walks up.

"Are you guys selling Scarface?"

Note that I am standing in front what is, literally, a wall-to-wall display of all our Scarface games. I am wearing a promotional Scarface pin. EBTV is playing a promo for Scarface.

I can't resist. I look back at the case comically, and then I look him square in the eyes. "Nope."

HE WALKED AWAY.
Hello
  • fynoda

signs of a stripper prodigy

Self mock.

Note to self...if you're walking home from work on a cool night, it's ok to unbutton your jacket when you feel warm. However, if you decide to stare at a pretty building and get distracted, make sure that when you go back to unbuttoning, do not unbutton your shirt. Anyone walking on that street got a nice view of my bra. *facedesk*
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Tink

(no subject)

I work at mcdonalds. Now as an employee of this great establishment I see stupid everyday whether it be from fellow coworkers or from customers. This however, took the cake.

me: Hi, how can I help you today?
idiot: I need a cheeseburger happy meal, and a chicken selects meal.
me: would you like the 3 or 5 piece chicken selects meal?
idiot: how many come in the 5 piece?

I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't answer. She ended up ordering the three piece meal because the five piece had too many in it.