November 22nd, 2006

(no subject)

while flipping through the channels on an early monday morning, I came across an American Revolution Cartoon, and being without brain power, decided to watch. (no this is not the stupid part)

When my sister came down stairs, she started watching too, and asking who the man speaking was.

It was George Washington (AKA first president of the United States) but i told her that.. figuring she just didn't know. Her reply?

"Well, it doesn't sound like George Washington"

.... .....

Stay in school kids, stay in school.

FN: Bubbles
  • kiwiria

Denmark have make a lot of thinks wrong!

I guess this is as much mock_the_crazy as mock_the_stupid, so I fully understand if you deem it inappropriate. My reaction to it was "WTF" and an incredulous laugh, so I thought I would share it here.

The following letter is NOT spam, but meant in 100% earnest despite all appearances.

Background: Saturday I went to a book fair in Copenhagen. While standing looking at some books (published by the Danish police - ironically enough) a man came up to me and asked if he could take a minute of my time. Thinking he was there to take a survey on my opinions of the book fair, I agreed. He explained that he was writing a 20,000 page book about Danish culture, sports, politics etc. and that he was trying to get it published. In this he needed my help and asked me to sign a piece of paper saying (paraphrased):
I agree with Mr. Hellesen in the following:
1) That he should be allowed help from a lawyer (paid????)
2) That his 20,000 book should be published
3) That Bill Gates should give him the money he has promised him as soon as possible.
4) That Maersk should give him the money they have promised him as soon as possible.
Signed __________________

Funnily enough, nobody had signed it yet. I said that I needed more details before signing it, so he gave me the following letter to take home and read, and an address to send my signature to.

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My apologies if reading this made your eyes bleed. His Danish is almost as bad.

Guess I won't be signing, nor sending that letter to him...
white trash

yes, the meat sauce has meat in it. Yes it does.

Two gems from waiting tables at a crappy, overpriced pizzeria:

1) 20-year-old orders pasta with meat sauce. She debates adding chicken to the pasta. Then she says "No, that sounds like a lot of meat." She looks up at me with doe-eyes and asks, "Wait, does the meat sauce have meat in it?"

2) A couple orders two individual sized pizzas. The guy tells me he wants alfredo cheese on the pizza. Then he shot me a withering glance and called me an idiot for "not knowing alfredo cheese was."
Holy Queercakes!

Oh! Is that what they're called?!

I had a little bit of time to kill between work and piano/violin lessons today, so on my way to my students' house, I stopped at Target to maybe buy some pants. I ended up not buying any pants today, but I did stop at the built-in Starbucks for a gingerbread latte and an oatmeal raisin cookie. You think that'd be easy, right? Yeah, I bet you would...

Barista Chick: How may I help you, sir?

Me: I'd like a medium gingerbread latte and an oatmeal raisin cookie, please.

BC: We don't have oatmeal raisin cookies.

Me: Oh. Um...then, I'd like one of those. ::points to a tray of cookies bearing a striking resemblace to every oatmeal raisin cookie I've ever seen::

BC: Oh, ok!

Me: What is it, exactly? (just in case it really was something else)

BC: It's a cookie!

Me (exercising amazing amounts of self control by not bitch slapping her): Well, um... yes. It is. What kind of cookie is it?

BC: Oatmeal raisin.

Me: Wonderful! Thanks!

Scar facepalm

Thank you, boneless chicken strips.

In my very awesome forensic science class at school, we had a really gross lab about decomposition, which involved putting raw, whole chickens (the kind you'd buy in the supermarket) out in the open and watching them get eaten by maggots. Charming, yes.

So, we get to the end of the lab, and one of the chickens has been completely eaten away, just to the bones. By this point, it smelled bad enough near the chickens that about half the class stayed inside and looked through the window. Those of us who did had to wait for the braver souls to come back and tell us about them.

And when told that the chicken was basically just bones, one girl in my class said, with all seriousness, "What? Chickens don't have bones!"

(no subject)

My father wanted to email me a link so he asked me what my email address is over the phone.

Dad: And how do you spell that?
Me: ......
Dad: Oh wait....

Score for getting my genes from him.
happy snake is happy

(no subject)

I live in Darfield, New Zealand. Recently there was a flood at the Waimakariri River, which is where our drinking water comes from. There have been warning signs posted around the shops and schools warning people not to drink the water, as it was most likely contaminated in the flood. I'm on study leave for exams, so I didn't know there were signs around my high school until today when I went in for my French exam. The signs were all in bold capitals over all the drinking fountains, reading something along the lines of "DO NOT DRINK WATER FROM THE SCHOOL DRINKING FOUNTAINS OR TAPS AS IT IS CONTAMINATED." Some fountains also had plastic bags held over them with rubber bands. It was pretty clear that the water was not supposed to be drunk. I would think that people who hadn't been on exam leave would know this better than I would.

So really there is no excuse for the boy I saw trying to drink from one of the fountains with a plastic bag over it, asking his friend why it wasn't working, and his friend replying that he didn't know, just hurry up and have a drink dude we're gonna be late for class.