November 5th, 2006

Shake Djibouti

(no subject)

My sister's ninth grade history class was talking about Free Tibet when the subject of the Dalai Lama came up. As did some truly beautiful instances of stupidity

Boy: So...isn't the Dalai Lama that sheep that was cloned? What does that have to do with Tibet?

Girl: Stupid! It's an animal in South America!

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(no subject)

I work for a well-known coffee shop chain and while my story is work related, anyone with a pea-sized brain should understand. There was this guy who worked with us a while back and was generally an all-around asshole and just well, not the brightest bulb in the box either.

One afternoon, a coworker of mine was going over the amount of espresso shots when a customer ordered a triple. He asked our coworker how many shots were in a triple.

Llama Farm!

This is a self-mock. It was very early in the morning, and I wasn't fully awake.

About two miles from my house, there is a llama farm. Nobody had seen the llamas since around May, so they were gone the entire summer. A few days ago, as my mom is driving, we pass the llama farm and we see the llamas again.

My mom; "Look, Morgan, the Llamas are back!"
Me; "Neat."
My mom; "Where do you think they were all summer?"
Me; "They were probably migrating. Y'know, like birds, except instead of flying to Florida in the cold seasons, they'd fly to Canada for the warm seasons."

(no subject)

I've watched this community for a few months and one of my friends reminded me of these two stories. You decide which is worse.

Friend: So I just found out that Abraham Lincoln was a president!
Everyone else: ......
Friend: I had no idea that we had a black president!

She's 21 years old. And in her senior year of college. And wants to be a dentist. :(  And another mock at the same friend:

Friend: So is the story of the Titanic real?
My sister: Uh, yes.
Friend: I mean I know there was a movie, but did it really happen?
Me: Yes!
Friend: Well it isn't like I'm a history major!

The blonde, it scares me!

No offense meant to smart blondes, but this girl epitomizes the dumb blonde stereotype. She found out the general manager of our restaurant was of Polish descent and tossed off this little gem:

"Where do Polish people come from?"

The really scary thing? I was helping her with her with the homework for her COLLEGE HISTORY CLASS and we just finished going over Hitler's invasion of Poland!
qui gon

Usually, it's the customers that are stupid...

But every so often, we have the rare exception to that. Saturday was such a day. Just for background: I work at a bookstore. Barnes and Noble. Me and fellow employee Walter are cashiers.

This business-suit clad guy comes up, and hands Walter a corporate card, which you have to process differently than a membership card, and well, Walter tries to do it like a membership card, gets an error message that it's not a valid member card, (it's a corporate card and bears no resemblence to a member card at all) and then after doing this repeatedly, I step in and ask him if its a member card. He describes it and I immediately know what to do, and so tell him. Walter, however, tries yet again to use it like a regular member card, gives up, asks the guy if he'd like a regular card.

Guy says sure, and so Walter adds the new card and its 25$ fee. The guy says, "oh wait, you have to pay for it? Screw that!" So, Walter lost his temper, and cussed, and was just pissy. I was taking care of the line, and I'd checked to make sure he was doing things ok, and had even told him how to do a corporate card, to no avail. My customer tells me she's not too happy to hear cursing, and when our manager gets there to clean it all up, Walter stomps off to the end of the cashwrap, ranting and muttering. Manager said he should have called and asked first and foremost.

Well, duh. What else would you do if you were confused on how to do something?

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