November 4th, 2006

bertdontsleep

That does not mean colored hair!

A couple weeks ago, at my son's birthday party, my mother handed me some shampoo she had bought.

Mom: I got this Pantene really cheap at the store! I thought you might need it.
Me: *looks at bottle, which is colored brown* Mom, this says "For women of color".

I am white. Very, very white. So white, I glow.

Mom: Yes, it's for colored hair!
Me: Mom, I haven't dyed my hair in over a year! Plus, look at this! *points to label at bottom* It says it's an oil-enriching formula.
Mom: *light finally dawns* Oh, well, I was just trying to help! *HUFF*
Hel and her gun

(no subject)

I work at a YMCA camp doing trail rides, mostly for city kids from Chicago who have never been on a horse before. The other day, my boss told me this story:

Before each trail ride, we do a little demonstration for the kids where we explain how to get on, how to go and stop, and how to steer and all that stuff. During this demo, the trail horses stand on the rail and most of the kids spend the time looking at them deciding which on they want to ride instead of listening. Well, there was a little boy, who had to have been at least nine or ten, maybe eleven, who was very intent on watching Tezir, the closest horse to the demo spot. As horses are not at all shy about using the bathroom whenever they have to go, Tezir happened to do his business while the kid was watching. And since it's cold, this big pile of horse crap was steaming. So the kid looks up at my boss and the following conversation happens:

Kid: Why is the poop steaming?
Boss Lady: Because it's cold outside, and the manure is warm.
Kid: (very seriously) So, if it's warm and cold at the same time, why isn't there a tornado?
Boss Lady: ..... *facepalm*

Looks like someone was half asleep in science the day they talked about weather patterns.
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