October 16th, 2006

  • shadsdf

(no subject)

I have a sister. She's almost 19, in her second year of university, and is working towards a degree in teaching. As she was waiting for a bus an elderly man who had both a staring problem and a severe case of flatulence walked past her, and she attempted to tell me about this on the phone as soon as he left.

"Okay, there was this creepy old guy and he looked Asian.. but now that I think about it he looked more Korean."
"Ash? Korea is IN Asia."
"...shut up."
[she finishes telling the story]
"Maybe you should take a geography course before going in for teaching?"
"I don't even know what that is!"
"You know, telling where shit is. Like Korea is in Asia, and Canada is above the US, and China is NOT in North America?"
"...wait.. we're not in North America, right?"
"Uh. Yes we are!"
"......oh. I thought since we're not in America, then we're not in North America, since we're in Canada.."

At this point she kept trying to justify herself while I fell over laughing.

As backstory, she did indeed ask me last year if China was in Canada, and when I told her no she asked if it was in North America.
  • nienta

A variation of "Did you die?"

A co-worker and I had both seen Stephen Fry's documentary on manic depression and I asked him if he'd ever been depressed...

him: I'm not sure. I've been down, but I don't think I've been depressed.
me: Well, did you ever want to kill yourself?
him: Oh- no, I never committed suicide.

Luckily he quickly realised what he'd said, though my laughing might have been a clue ;)

I have no idea

I work at the computer lab at my University. I work really long shifts and sometimes it gets really boring so I bring a book with me. Awhile ago my book de jour was Beckett's "Waiting for Godot". At work there is this dumb old biddy who comes in every day and makes me explain the confusing word program for anywhere from fifteen minutes to an hour the day I brought in Godot was no different. When she approached me she cocked her head looked at the cover and asked "what's a go dot?" I said excuse me and she repeated her self. I said oh do you mean Godot it's French. She said to stop speaking in foreign languages because it was confusing her and to put the book about the dots down and help her like I'm supposed to. Uh de de de.

Another Tech Support one.

Me: "Very well, ma'am, now what we're gonna have to do is run a few tests to see that the settings we've changed so far have saved. First, I need you to close all the windows."
Customer: "They're closed."
Me: "Oh. Well, that was fast."
Customer: "No. I closed them before I called you. "

(a moment of silence)

Customer: "It's raining."