September 28th, 2006

xeanort

(no subject)

Ok, because I suck with links, the following link down below reminded me of a conversation I had with someone.

http://ohmygods.timerift.net/strips/2004/03/06.php

I'm Pagan and I have a pentacle star that I wear. Well, one person came up to me and saw my necklace. The following ensued:

Silly Person: You're a terrible Jewish person!
Me: *looks around to see if there is anyone else person is referring to* Who me?
Silly Person: Yes, you!
Me: But I'm not Jewish!
Silly Person: Not a good one. You don't have six points on your Star of David!
Me: This is a PENTAcle star. As in it has only five points.
Silly Person: Well that's because you aren't Jewish enough to earn all six points!
Me: But I'm Pagan, not Jewish. There's a difference between the two.
Silly Person: Well no wonder you only get five points. You don't even call yourself a Jew when you clearly are one!
Me: And how, may I ask, did you deduce that I was Jewish?
Silly Person: Because only Jews wear stars. DUH!
Me: *sighs*
  • Current Music
    Jewel - Foolish Games
Firebird

(no subject)

My mum and her boyfriend were on holiday in Barcelona and so they went to the Gaudi museum. While they were there, they heard this little snippet from a nearby American tourist:
'So Gaudi made everything in here? Even the display cases?'

My first mock...

Background first.

As part of a third year university course, we are required to write an essay about recent trends in Human Resource Management. There has been much questioning and discussion of trends and what *is* a trend on our bulletin board over the last couple of weeks. Then there was this gem...

Questioning student: Hi, just checking if sexual orientation like homosexuals can be categorised as recent trends? thanks

Sensible responder: i think homosexuals have been around for some time...

Oh dear. And to think she will be out in the wilds of the workforce next year!
new default
  • gao

September 25th: A Day That Will Live In Infamy

All but one of these stories comes from the same night of work. I work overnight stock in a grocery store; we start at 10:30 and the store closes at 11, so I mostly get avoid customers.

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That same night was a banner night for my co-worker Mark. Mark is:

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Also, while I'm banging all these out at once, another Mark classic from several weeks ago:

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  • veinor

Geographic knowledge is GOOD, m'kay?

So I've got this assignment to draw a map of important places in America during the French and Indian War, and one of the places is Fort Saint Louis. This reminds my history teacher of a funny story about the assignment last year.

One of the places we have to label is Fort Saint Louis, and there are apparently lots of these. I don't know, I haven't looked it up myself yet. So one of the kids last year gets the wrong one. That isn't really stupid in and of itself, but it would be avoidable (ask the teacher, read the text for context, etc.) However, the particular Fort Saint Louis was definitely the dumbest possible choice you could possibly make. He chose the one in Africa. This is a map of America. Apparently, the student drew an arrow pointing in the general direction labeled 'Fort Saint Louis'. I don't know what grade they got, but I know it couldn't have been good.


Bonus self-mock: When I looked up what place they messed up on, I opened my bio folder. And there's a HUGE difference between that and my history folder: one is dull blue, the other is a bright orange binder that zips open.
  • Current Music
    Sector 7 Hath Wrought the Angel (Sephiroth's Theme Remix)

A Darwin Award hopeful :S

Short self-mock here. Not even something I said, just something I did. Excited as a kid at Christmas, I went out yesterday and got myself a new set of rollerblades. Now, I've had rollerblades before, and I know how to use them. However, for some reason, possibly the result of being extraordinarily late for class, I decided that I would take the blades out - first time in a few years that I've put them on - and I thought I'd be able to run down a fairly steep hill to get to class in half the time or less. Suffice it to say that no serious injuries were sustained, and I will be keeping my downhill excercises to shoes for some time to come.

Horse

The Twilight Zone

The company I work for maintain a website in which you can look for retired social security number. That is, social security numbers of people that had died.

A customer emailed once demanding her money back. The reason? She apparently could not find herself when searching on the website.\

ET: this is nothing illegal. yada yada, social security numbers of people that have died are public record and are used for verification and genealogy. No reason to get excited.
  • _newo

(no subject)

Dominique: OH MY GOD, I have to write an essay on the [American] Civil War.
Me: Thats bad?
Dom: OH MY GOD, YES, it is like soooo hard.
Person: There is tons of info on it.
Dom: Well it just SUCKS. I don't CARE about the GERMANS and the JEWS and HITLER and all that CRAP.

He obviously didn't do any research. But that is just Dominique for you. I wish I could rememeber all the other stupid shit hes said, but my memory sucks. I just know that when we were friends in 8th grade he was SUCH an idiot.
default

(no subject)

I was ordered to post this by the lovely opalcat herself.

My boyfriend used to work in a summer camp. One summer he was working with groups composed entirely of eleven to thirteen year-old girls. The inevitable happened and one camper got her first period. His partner told him not to worry about it; they had a whole four tampons. That had to be enough, right?
Thankfully one of the female counsellors set him straight.
Dali

Short, Quick, and to the Stupid

In my first period class this morning, we got a test back that we had taken a few days ago. I heard this girl that sits behind me tell her friend about her score. 

The Amazing Idiot Girl: "Oh my god, I got a 7 out of 20---that's like 50% off!"
Her Friend: ...

I left class feeling so incredibly depressed for my generation. *sigh* 

  • Current Music
    "Song Against Sex" - Neutral Milk Hotel
bug on pedestrian crossing button thingy

Menstrual Breakdown...

At school, me and a group of friends usually have fascinatingly odd conversations at break time (20 minutes of amazing intellectual meltdown), and one of these careered around the topic of the menstrual cycle. A guy which I shall only call L. knew that I was on, but he was puzzled why it took so long.

Me: What do you mean?
L: Well, don't you just sit on the toilet for a day and it all comes out?

*blink blink*--->develops onto *headdesking* ahundredfold.

This coming from a 16-year old AS-Student who could have been sick on the day they were studying the details of female development.

EDIT: I seriously apologise for the heinous crime of grammatical errors in this entry. mock_the_stupid who mocks the stupid!!!!

I really wanted to get this down before I forgot to do it so Im sorry to the rightous nit-pickers of the English language!!! (I am one too, so therefore...)
House/Martyr

(no subject)

Overheard in the local coffeeshop on my college campus:

Girl 1: "OK, so I can't have caffeine this late because it'll keep me up... I was thinking a latte..."
Girl 2: "I've heard the Crazy Sewanee Night is good. It doesn't have any caffeine."

Sign posted not two feet from them?

"CRAZY SEWANEE NIGHT:
3 shots Espresso
2 shots Flavored Syrup
Flavored Coffee Optional
Whipped Cream Optional"

Granted, you CAN get espresso decaf.  However...

Cashregister Girl: "Hot, cold, decaf, or regular?"
Girl 1: "Oh, just regular, thanks. I'm need to go to bed early tonight."

o.O

Maybe she doesn't understand that "Decaf" means "decaffeinated"?