ETA: Sorry about the ginormous photo! It was resized on my screen when my dad sent it to me, so I didn't realise it was quite that huge. I've made it a tad smaller now XP
( Collapse )
Some friends and I were talking about men and women. I was fifteen at the time. The two guys were 21 and 25, and rumored to be the major pimps in town.
(The dialogue has been shortened and simplified. I shall refrain from mentioning whether they are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or whatnot.)
Guy 1: Women can’t be trusted!
Guy 2: Yeah. How can you trust someone who bleeds once a month without dying?
Guy 1: True. Women are filthy!
Me: o_O Right. And that’s why you f*** your girlfriend every night.
Guy 2: *shrugs* That’s what they were made for after all.
Guy 1: You’re getting me wrong here. Their _blood_ is filthy. Women are like horses. They don’t have kidneys.
Guy 2: *fluffs himself up, trying to look important. Turns to look at
Those guys were actually serious about this. A heated debate started then, and Guy 1 and Guy 2 started a fistfight with others who were of a different opinion.
We were high on p#t then, but no amount of dope can account for this!
My mother asked me what that bird was called, and I said "it's a pterodactyl"
Mom: "Can they really pick up a person like that?"
Me: .... (wondering if she's suggesting what I think she's suggesting)
mom: "I think they might be able to pick up a baby or something, but can they pick up an adult?"
me: "mom, pterodactyls are dinosaurs. They don't exist anymore."
A girl sold a woman a gift card, but instead of giving her the card which was activated (ie had money on it), she gave her unactivated one. The woman then sent it to her daughter in another state, who tried to use it, but couldn't. The women came back to Pennys to complain. The manager tracked the card, by the numbers on the reciept, and found that the employee had used it to buy clothes and had used her associate number in order to get a discount. Needless to say, she was soon no longer working there.
It was spelled correctly on the assembly instructions inside.