September 22nd, 2006

Em Spokane
  • ejumean

The problems of stupid translations....

I'm new to this particular LJ group, an online friend of mine pointed me to it. I thought I'd share this gem that I happened to come across a few years ago, dealing with the problems of translation from a foreign language to English.

My mother had purchased this rather odd-looking kitchen utensil. It looks like a screwdriver that is used to dig the flesh out of veggies like squash and zucchini for stuffing. It was made from somewhere in the Middle East. And on the back of the package was some text in English. Here is a scan of said English text. I swear I couldn't make this stuff up (especially the first paragraph in blue):

All I can say about that is, "Owwww, the poor daughter!!"

  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Puedo Entenderlo

brokenangel1123's post reminded me of this one...
I don't really want to mock my mother-in-law because she's not stupid. Perhaps, like brokenangel1123, she was just trying too hard.

My in-laws live in Argentina. Most of the family only speaks Spanish. My father-in-law also speaks a little Portuguese. A few years ago, my MIL and FIL were on vacation in Brazil. Several times, they had to stop and ask for directions, and, logically, my FIL did the talking.
However, one time when they stopped to ask directions, a miracle occurred. My MIL understood the directions perfectly! Pleased with herself for picking up so quickly, she said, "You see, Luis? I can understand this man perfectly!"
At this point, FIL explained to MIL that the man was actually trying very hard to speak Spanish, and while his accent did make it sound like Portuguese, the words that she was understanding were in her own language.
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy
dd - fragile mister

Self mock

I got back from my tea break and had a missed call on my mobile phone. Not wanting to interfere with the phone equipment in the office by using my mobile to check my messages I decided to check them from my office phone which involves calling my mobile number and then entering my pin number when my voice message answers.
So I do it. And my mobile phone rings. So I answer it.

Oh yes, you read right. I called myself and then answered it.

Of course, everyone in the office saw me do it so I have been mocked for most of the afternoon.
Firefly [Wash]: eyesthatslay

(no subject)

One from my hometown for the mock list...

"Samaritans unwittingly assist in car theft: Do-gooders offered impromptu driving lesson to sly 14-year-old".

Article here.

Collapse )

I'm not sure who's stupider, the 14 year old who stopped to ask for help driving a stolen vehicle, or all the neighbors who helped him.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
  • kitrona

Durr, I'm smart...

I recently ventured into the world of IRC, and installed the plugin to my Miranda (all IM programs in one, essentially), but it wouldn't work, so I just downloaded mIRC and used that instead. But my favored nickname was only available occasionally, which irritated me to the point of threatening to set the person on fire who had it (to my friends, of course... I'm too big a wimp to actually, say, message the person).

I guess I'll have to set myself on fire. I just realized that /I/ have the nick, in my "non-working" Miranda plugin.

*headdesk* This is not my day... I also forgot to put the filter in the coffeepot today, and only discovered this after the grounds were in the brewed coffee.

Edited for clarity: Clearly, that WASN'T my day. I should have specified that Miranda was working, but I /thought/ it wasn't, so I was using both Miranda and mIRC and wondering why my nick was taken (I was using it in Miranda, so naturally I couldn't use it in IRC).
  • larilee

(no subject)

Oooh, first post.

While I was working as a Customer Service Representative for a very large health insurance company, our department was sent for an intensive workshop on spotting, documenting and reporting fraud.
Collapse )
  • Current Music
    the laughter in my head
naruto, v for victory

(no subject)

This is a self-mock that happened about two weeks ago, in my Chemistry class.

We were doing a partner-lab involving chemicals. Since Chemistry is not my best subject, my partner assigned me the job of being the go-getter (go get the test-tubes, go get the water, etc). No problem, less complicated work for me. At least...that's what I thought. I had underestimated my stupidity.

My partner told me to fill the flask with a certain chemical that was at our teacher's desk. So I happily accept and bounce off to get the chemical. At this point, I don't know what happened inside my brain. I saw the chemical beaker. I was walking right towards it. And all of a sudden, I veer off and head towards the sink instead. Somehow, the instructions in my brain changed to "fill the flask with water".

No one noticed until our calculations were off the scale wrong. And then, with a sinking horror, I remembered what I had done.

I was so embarassed! My partner told our entire class. Luckily, I didn't get a zero on the lab. We managed to do the lab over and finish in time.

I swear to God, I am not this dumb. Well, not most of the time.
  • ulia

Baby Shiloh

This was a while ago, but I just thought of it and it might be the first mock I’ve thought of that is worthy of posting here. I went to get my hair trimmed and ended up getting some free entertainment. The entire time I was there the girl doing my hair and her friend dished out stupid remark after stupid remark. What stuck with me was this…

Someone mentioned that Angelina and Brad had named their new baby girl Shiloh. This seemed to really bother the girl doing my hair.

Girl: “I’m mad they named their kid Shiloh. My 3 year old is named Shiloh!”
Girl’s Friend: “So what?”
Girl: “Now everyone is going to think I copied them!”

I feel for her, I really do. But hey, one consolation is that apparently she’s psychic!

(no subject)

A few years ago I worked in a charity shop over christmas. We had a box of cards for 5p each on the counter. One day an old guy came in and took a card out to buy and said to me 'I don't normally do the Jewish thing...' then seeing the confused look on my face added 'you know, christmas'. Quite.
There was also a woman who tutted over the fact we were selling a phone that didn't have a mains plug. No, it didn't have a clock or anything else requiring electricity, it was just a phone.
Adrian Griffin Badge

Stupidity by phone

Got a phone call recently that undermined any faith I had in people.

Her: Yes, may I speak with Mr. (pronounced my last name wrong)
Me: This is, and it is (pronounced correctly)
Her: I'm sorry Mr. (incorrect)
Me: Again, that is (correct)
Her: My apologies Mr. (incorrect)
Me: For the last time, it is (correct)
Her: That's what I said Mr. (incorrect)

I hung up on that moron.
buffy // reading makes for learning good

(no subject)

So, my friend knows this guy. He's one of those guys who's so dumb that stories about him will finish and you're left holding your head and wondering about the future of our race.

Anyway, super awesome dudes like that make great decisions! Like getting tattooed! So, he wanted to get a tattoo across his stomach. I dunno, maybe he thought he was a thug or something. Anyway, he wanted it to read "NOTHING TO LOSE".

Being the ignorant fool he is, he can't spell worth a damn.

Instead, it reads "NOTHING TOO LOOSE".

Which, in a way, is even better I think.
  • Current Mood