September 18th, 2006

  • bleebee

(no subject)

in the holidays from uni, i work in McDonald's, which has the potential for a great amount of stupid, but this one happened only the other day and greatly confused me..
a middle aged man walks in with his son, who's about fourteen or fifteen and the man nods to his son in a general 'order it yourself' kind of way...
son: McChicken meal please
me: McChicken sandwich?
son: no, McChicken meal
me: ok, McChicken Sandwich, McChicken Nuggets or McChicken Premiere?
son: right, fine then, i'll just have a bigmac
...and what added greatly to my confusion is that his father seemed to think that this was a normal conversation, and there was a sign over my head saying what kind of meals we did, including which chicken ones.

also, this past summer i went to london with one of my best friends, and we went to the national gallery. and can i please add in my defense that i have never been to an art gallery before? shocking, but true.
anyways, we walk in and up the stairs to the first of the permanent collection rooms and there's a sign on the wall saying something like 1500-1900 so i say
'oof, that's an awful lot of pictures, hope we've got enough time this afternoon to see them all'
bob is not paying attention so doesn't realise what i'm on about at this point....however, we walk through the room '1500-1600' and get to '1600-1700' and i say 'bloody hell, we've never seen a hundred paintings, have we?' in quite a loud voice
to which he replies in a nice and loud, disbelieving voice 'you thought that was the number of paintings? it's the period in which they were painted'
i felt pretty stupid for the rest of the day then

This is why you shouldn't brainwash your kids into christianity.

This was a conversation I had a long time ago. We were either 15 or 16 at the time.

Girl: Yeah, that's why you don't have sex at this age.
Me: Okay.
Girl: Plus, the guy has an orgasm after 8 minutes. And the girl has an orgasm after 18 minutes. So the girl never has an orgasm and it doesn't last very long.
Me: Who told you this?
Girl: My sister, Diane (27 years old)

This same girl...

Girl: *sees condoms in my purse and grabs them*
Me: *snatches them back and quickly puts them back into purse*
Girl: Oh! You're one of those people who are greedy with their candy!

I can't believe I actually got away with the last one...

Men Can't Be Raped

In my Social Studies class, my teacher turned on the TV and put on a news channel for one of our assignments. A brief news story about a man accusing a woman of rape played and the following conversation ensued.

Girl: *to nobody in particular* That is sooo stupid. A girl can't rape a dude.
Me: Well, actually she could, it would just be more difficult than the reverse because of the way human anatomy works.
Girl: ...
Me: :)
Girl: A girl can't rape a guy.
Me: Actually-
Girl: I think I know more about this kind of thing than you do, hon.
Me: I could think I look like Adriana Lima but that won't make it true.
Girl: Um...Okay. But seriously, it's not possible. A girl wouldn't have to rape a guy. Guys like sex, that's why girls have it.
Me: Are you saying that women have no sex drive?
Girl: *sigh* I just mean that if guys weren't always after sex, women wouldn't have it.
Me: Just because a woman offers sex doesn't mean a man will jump at the chance.
Guy: Unless she was really fugly, believe me, he would.
Girl: Thank you!
Me: You're basing all of this on the assumption that men never refuse sex!
Girl: 'Cause they almost never do.
Me: ._.

There are so many kinds of wrong and stupid in the way this girl thinks that I don't even know where to start. I bet she's also the type of person who thinks that women are asking for rape if they wear revealing clothing though.
  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated

¡Sé lo que están diciendo!

Huge self mock. A few years ago my husband and I were up late listening to music. We started listening to some Spanish rap group... now, I only had one year of Spanish in school and my husband never took it. However the beat was good so we kept it on that channel. My husband asks if I understand what they are saying. I sat and listened and was able to pick up certain words like, you & friends (simple basic words) and also some cuss words. I relayed the words I knew to my husband. In the middle of the song I really concentrated. I wanted to know what they were rapping about! As if by a miracle, I started to understand and shouted to my husband, "Hey babe, omg I know what they are saying!" He snarfed what he was drinking and said, "Yeah? So do I because they are rapping in English now!" I sat there and did a double take...sure enough they were now rapping in English. My face turned burgandy and my husband had the best laugh of his life.
Of course, I have never and will never live that one down. Anytime we hear Spanish my husband just laughs in my general direction.

Assorted Stupids

First a couple from me:

*I'd had a long day and wanted to relax to some music on my laptop. I pulled up a song list, hit the play button, and...nothing. Confused, I tried turning up the volume. Didn't work. I checked to see if something was wrong with the player. Nope. At last, annoyed and worried, I looked to check the computer itself. And that's when I realized I still had the headphones plugged in.

*In my Home Ec class, we were baking cookies. We get the dough made just fine, put it on cookie sheets and popped them into the oven. They were fast making cookies, and supposed to be ready in just six minutes, so we checked in five. It was as though they hadn't been in the oven at all. 10 minutes later we checked, difference. Finally, we were about to ask the teacher for help. As we started towards her desk, I caught sight of the oven panel.

"Guys?" I asked "Did we turn the oven on?"

I let you guess the answer to that question.

And a few quotes from other sources:

*"Dirt floors were hard to keep clean"
(History textbook)

*"Water gets hot after heating"
(Science textbook)

*"Do not ignite the battery nor throw into a fire"
(My cell phone)

*"We'd be one of the first countries in the nation to vote"
(Radio broadcast)

*"Her death was fatal"
(Radio broadcast)

*"Read the instructions out loud in your head"
(Guidelines for high school standardized testing)

*"If you cannot hear this message, please call the main office"
(Announcement made over school's P.A. system)