September 4th, 2006

hands up

beer me...

I was in NZ a little while ago, and me and my brother found our way into a bar to watch the soccer world cup in the middle of the night.

I walked up to the bar and asked for two light beers. the barchick seemed confused and asked me if I meant light as in colour or light as in weight?

I was stunned into silence for a few seconds and eventually asked for two of any kind of beer. she then reached into the fridge and pulled out two light beers...

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Fluffy Vulcan

On People who are probably working in the wrong place

I majored in English Lit in University. As it happened, it was cheaper to drive across the US-Canadian border to Plattsburg, NY to buy the novels on my curriculum from a local book store. (I had to buy the textbooks at the university bookshop, but I didn't have a lot of those.) One semester, I was taking a class in Shakespeare, and the required edition was the "Riverside Shakespeare". Now, since most regular bookstores do carry Shakespeare's plays, I asked the clerk in Plattsburg whether they carried that edition, or whether it could be ordered.

The clerk went to check the catalogue.

He did not look under "R" (for Riverside)
He did not look under "S" (for Shakespeare)
He did not look under "C" (for Collected Works or Complete Plays)
He did not look under "W" (for William)


He looked under "T". For The.

Blind Man

The name of my business is printed on the side of my truck in two foot tall tall red letters: The Blind Man.

Also says what I do (clean, repair, and sell blinds), albeit in black letters only 7 inches tall. =/

Occasionally, someone STILL doesn't get what I do, and asks in all seriousness how I drive that big truck if I can't see.


(no subject)

Many years ago, I worked as a bookseller/cashier at Barnes & Noble. I can't/refuse to remember most of the stupid things that happened there, but one stands out. Please bear in mind when you read this that I worked at the second largest B&N on the west coast. The building had been a huge warehouse before it was converted into a bookstore.

Customer: Hi, can you help me find a book?
Me: Yes, of course. What is the title of the book?
Customer: Well... I don't know the title or the author...
Me: Hmm... Ok, do you know the publisher or the ISBN number?
Customer: I don't know that either.
Me: Ok, what do you know about the book you are looking for?
Customer: I know that it's blue.
Me: ...
Customer: Can you help me find it?
Me: You know that it's blue. Do you know what it's about? Whether it is fiction or non-fiction?
Customer: No. I just know that it's blue.

And the stupid doesn't end there. The customer wouldn't leave until I helped him. I ended up walking through aisles finding blue books and asking him if that was the book he was looking for.

Me: Here's a blue book. Is this it?
Customer: No...
Me: Oh! Here's another one! Is this it?
Customer: Let me look... no. That's not it.

This went on for about 5 minutes until he got frustrated and told me that he probably needed to go back home and find out some more information about the book and that he would be back tomorrow. I was very thankful that the next day was my day off.

(no subject)

This area of IL gets a lot of thunderstorms. It is a regular occurrence around this time of year.

Today it was very grey out and for about 90 minutes you could clearly hear thunder, though no visible lightning (at least not from my view point) and no rain.

After about an hour, lightning was finally visible. I over heard these girls outside on one of the balconies(my windows hadn't yet been closed).

Girl One: OMG!! You totally have to tell Trish that I like, totally saw lightning.
Girl Two: *Giggling* (and I presume yelling into the apartment) Trish, we saw lightning!
Girl Three: Why would we see lightning anyway? Its just thundering.

Good friend, silly question

A friend of mine is coming to visit my new daughter (she was born August 2nd, 2006 - this is important) this coming week and wants to bring her a gift. I just got an email from her asking a question about what size my daughter wears. Her email contained:

"Is she still in infant clothes, or is she wearing 6-9 months now?"

August 2nd, 2006. My daughter reached 1 month this past Saturday. 6-9 months? What?

EDIT: Since I've gotten a lot of comments on this post, I'll add a few things to make it a little more clear:

1) The friend mentioned knows my daughters' weight/length.

2) Every bit of newborn/baby clothing I've seen around here has both the month range (0-3, 6-9, etc.) AND the weight range printed on the tags.

3) I know that sometimes the weight range on a tag can be misleading depending on the build of the child. However, I have mentioned to the friend in the story that my daughter fits wonderfully into the proper range.

So... Given that she had been told before that my daughter does indeed wear newborn clothes, and that she knows her weight, the question was quite silly and unnecessary. Sorry I didn't make that more clear in the post. I honestly didn't think of it until I was swamped with responses mentioning the above.
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