August 21st, 2006

Equalizer
  • mwissa

What day is tomorrow?

It is Friday night and we are at a going away party. No one was drunk... yet.

Matt taps me.

Matt: Here, ask her this question, Caleb. *laughs*
Caleb: Is tomorrow Saturday?
Me: Today is Friday so..
Caleb: Well, duh. I know that, but I want to make sure tomorrow's Saturday.
Me: Sorry man. Tomorrow is Tuesday.
Caleb: Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I was counting on tomorrow being Saturday.
Me: *doing best to keep straight face* Why?
Caleb: I have this meeting I really needed to go to at 1. And since tomorrow is Tuesday, I must have missed it. Fuck.
Me: Yeah dude. You missed like an entire fucking weekend.
Caleb: Yeah. I mean, seriously, how do you go from Friday to Tuesday in like, 24 hours?
Me: You don't
Caleb: But..
Me: *Big ass grin*
Caleb: You are such a fucking bitch, Melissa. I hate you all!

He gets up to storm into the house and turns around.

Caleb: So, that means that tomorrow is Saturday then?
Us all in unison: YES!
Caleb: Well, geez, don't yell at me. I get confused, you all know this.

Yes. we. do.
biting the phone
  • shaebay

Fun on the phone...

I'm a secretary for a construction company, we get a lot of telemarketers asking directly for the owner. Last month, he passed away.

Me: Good morning, name name aluminum.
Telemarketer: Hi! Is name name in?
Me: No, I'm sorry. He recently passed away, what can I help you with?
T (takes a moment before responding): Oh, well will he be in later today?
Me: No. He died. Is there anything I can help you with?
T: Uhh, no. Bye.
Me: ::headdesk::

Me: Good afternoon, name name aluminum
Telemarketer 2: Hi! Is name name in?
Me: No, he passed away, is there anything I can help you with?
T2: Oh, okay (very chipper reply). Maybe you could help me. Are you an employee of name name aluminum?
Me: Yes, I am. (I'm answering the phone, duh)
T2: Are you self-employed?
Me: No ::hangs up before conversation gets any worse, beacuse I heard him start asking if I was married or owned name name aluminum::
  • Current Music
    computer hums

What comes before Tuesday?

Mike and Barb, our neighbors, had this conversation tonight.

Mike: "The dogs owners will be back tomorrow right?"
Barb: "No. They said they'd be back Tuesday."
Mike: "Um, tomorrow is Tuesday."
Barb: "Oh really? I could have sworn today was Monday!"
Rest of the neighbors: O_o
  • Current Mood
    amused amused