August 19th, 2006

Paramedic Stupid

My favorite teacher, Mr. Clark, used to be a paramedic. He has a very interesting life and is great story teller, so we'd always beg him to tell us some of his stories. These are two rather fine examples of paramedic stupidity he told us.


Clark and his team had been called to the scene of a very bad accident. It had been raining very badly and there was about 3 inches of water on the ground. When they got there the guy's heart wasn't beating so they hauled out the defibrillator (the heart shocker paddles for those who don't know). They laid the guy out in the street, attatched the paddles to his chest, and waited for the signal. Now at this point there are about 5 or 6 guys all kneeling around this guy waiting to zap him. Five or six guys, all of them trained to examine their surroundings before acting, all of them trained how to act in an emergency, all of them trained in basic science, and yet not one had the thought "water + electricity = bad". Let's just say this thought crossed their minds very soon after pushing the button.

To those wondering what happened to the guy, if I remember correctly he lived. Following the group shock, they decided it would be best to place him on a plank of wood. Of course, when Clark got ready to push the button again, he glanced around and noticed the rest of his team hiding in a nearby ditch.



This one was told to us to make a point. Think before acting.
At the scene of another accident, one of Clark's buddies got a little too eager with the glass breaker. He raced over to the passenger's side door and broke out the window to get to the patient. Watching all of this Clark walked over to the driver's side and opened the door.
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lost wolfwood

(no subject)

Quite simply, I work at a hotel. We keep our ice machine behind the front desk for the purpose of keeping our guests from fucking it up, so people stop by all the time for ice. This lady was in her late 30's, early 40's.

Lady: Can I get some ice please?

Me: Sure, one second. *runs off, gets ice..* Here you go, all set.

Lady: Great thanks. *with a look of complete seriousness and while waving her hand over the bucket as if she was about to pull a rabbit from a hat* Hey.. could you warm this up for me?

Me: Bwa.. bu.. but.. it's ice, that's what ice does. It's cold?

Lady: Oh nevermind! *leaves in a huff*


..I was sad she left so quickly, I was going to offer her a cup of water.. "Here you go, all warmed up!"
Say What?

Bleeding

A couple days ago at work, I managed to cut myself by standing up and accidentally headbutting the corner of a piece of wood, and I took a sec to make sure I wouldn't bleed all over the shelving unit we were assembling. This guy asked what I was doing, I told him, and he offered this gem of wisdom:

"Bleeding is good for you! You need to air out your blood every now and then or it gets stagnant and you get sick!"

....
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