August 18th, 2006

  • mwissa

(no subject)

I had a Psychology of Women class in college. We talked about a lot of interesting stuff, and one day we were talking about women and marriage. We got on the subject of how now it isn't taboo to not be married young or wait until an older age to marry or have children.

Professor: Tell how you think times have changed for women regarding this issue.

Girl: I think things have changed a lot. Women can now have careers and not a family if they so choose. Women still have a mountain to climb in regards to how much we make according to men and promotions and such, but 100 years ago, if a woman wasn't married by the time she was 18 she was considered a sphincter.

*dead silence*

Random Guy in Class: A sphincter? Really?

Girl: Um, yeah. Don't tell me that you haven't heard that term before.

Random Guy: *half laughing* Yeah, I thought it was a muscle.

Professor: I believe she meant to say spinster.

The girl laughed and played it off alright, but her face was so red you could have seen it from space.

Washington, D.C. Education

While working in Washington, D.C. today I came across this map painted on the wall of a playground outside of a public library, adjacent to a school. No WONDER why DC schoolkids have such a hard time on standardized tests.

Note: Mocking public education in DC, not the kids.

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  • kujelia

Marching Band for Dummies!

The other night at rehearsal, a kid kept arguing with the rest of his line. What was he arguing about?

James: One half of one half is one eighth!
Emma: Uh, no it's not, Jim-"
James: YES, it is. See, you add the two together, one over two plus one over two, and you get two over four, which is really-
Brandon:What you just said made no sense. Do you not know how to figure fractions?
James: Uh, of course I do! Whatever. You guys are stupid.
Elsa - Frozen

(no subject)

Today I went with my grandfather to pick up a book from a Barnes & Noble near his house. As we walked back through the parking lot, there was a car next to us with a sticker on the back window that read exactly, 'in luving memery of jeremy: 1919-2004'. I felt sorry for the family, even though the punctuation rape made me chuckle a bit, but it wasn't anything too terribly note-worthy.

Possible grammar mock aside, my grandpa's comment is what made me lose it. As he was backing the car out of the parking spot he read the sticker out loud, word for word, with a frown on his face.

I thought he would comment on the horrible English, but apparently the only reason someone would bother putting a sticker like that on the car is because, "Oh, that poor bloke. He must've died young."

Oh yes. Because everyone knows that a person hits their prime when they're eighty-five!
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Warning: water contains hydrogen

Officials in Louisville, KY, were tired of people using public fountains for bathing or swimming, so they put up signs that warned that the water in the fountains contained "high levels of hydrogen."

The signs succeeded. Bacteria levels in the fountains dropped. The local newspaper complained that the signs treated residents of Louisville 'as if they were stupid.'

(no subject)

Over the summer I interned for a PR company that worked for New Line Cinema (I have a lot of "omg people are scary" stories as a result of this job and people's blood lust for free merchandise, but only one really qualifies for this community).

Yesterday there was a ticket pickup for How to Eat Fried Worms (one of those things where there's an article in the paper saying "come to such-and-such location for a free ticket to a sneak-peak of such-and-such movie") so another intern and I were sent to a supermarket near the office to give out tickets, posters, and little packets of gummy worms to whoever showed up.

The gummy worms, by the way, look like normal gummy worms. They're multi-colored, (pink, blue, red, the usual colors) and the areas that are white are see-through.

So this guy comes up to us and asks "Is this a move you guys made, or is this a real movie?" in a very condescending tone. We tell him "it's a professional movie," he takes a pack of gummy worms and walks away.

A full five minutes later he comes running back to us. I don't know what went through his mind, or what someone told him to make him paranoid, but he walks up looking very very concerned, holds up the packet of gummy worms and asks "Are these real worms? Cause I won't eat them if they're real worms."

We assured him they weren't. :P