I'm American and have lived in the UK for three years. (There's a page full of mock_the_stupid that I could write about that.) Last week, an American friend of mine was visiting. We needed to do laundry so we went to a laundrette in a nearby small town that has a reputation for being a bit chavtastic.
As we were getting change / buying drinks from the store next to the laundrette, the cashier turns to my friend and says...
"So, um, in the US, like, do they use euros?"
My friend's jaw dropped. Thankfully, since I'm a teacher, I'm a bit more used to ignorance, so I tactfully answered that no, in the US, the currency is the US dollar.
So I work in a health food store in their kitchen, just to give you an idea of what we're working with.
So a girl that just graduated from my high school comes in on my break and i say hi and she asks me the following:
Girl: Do you guys sell euthanasia tea?
Girl: Ohh-wait then what's EUTHANASIA.
Me:.*palm face*.....assisted suicide, dear.*quickly walks away*
not me: EWW DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE EATING???
not me: EWW DON'T YOU KNOW THAT'S LIKE CORN SPERM???
me: ...they're brussel sprouts
not me: No that's just the name they give it so that people will eat it! It's like, how corn reproduce and stuff.
One: I was at the local video store and spotted woman with a kid holding Disney's The Swan Princess movie. I snorted on general principal. Quietly and to myself, but she must have heard because she whirled on me and demanded "What's YOUR problem?" holding the movie up as she did so. Going into detail would have taken far longer than I was interested in, so I just told her I didn't like what Disney had done with Swan Lake. That's when it got painful:
Her: Swan Lake?
Me: Yeah, it's based off of Swan Lake.
Her: No it isn't.
Me: ...Yes it is. Look it up onli-
Her: *interrupting. No, I know about Swan Lake. But The Swan Princess wasn't based off of it. They stole the idea from Disney.
Me: ...Right, bye bye now. (or something to that effect.)
Two: After getting a movie for myself, I went to the convenience store for a bag of chips and Coke. As I was paying, the girl in line behind me suddenly commented "I love your tan! What do you use?" I told her "Sunlight." She got a thoughtful look and asked me "Can I buy that at Shopper's (Drug Mart)?" I told her I got it imported and ran with my chips and drink. Technically true.
Edit: It's not Disney's movie after all. My mistake.
I am currently readying The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Started it fairly recently, actually. I was talking to my friend about it. She is a high school graduate and knows a lot about current and world events.
Me: It's really good. Wait, remind me, when was he killed again? [note: my short term memory loss is not the point here. 1965 thankyouverymuch]
Her: *eyes wide* What? He gets killed?
Me: *eyes wider* Yes...
Her: Well you just gave it all away!
On a completely unrelated note, here's another mock.
I have one of those clicky mint/candy cases; the round metal kind where you push the lid and it pops open. I use it to store small paperclips. This particular tin very obviously had candy in it. At some point in history. I took it out in class once, clicked it open and took out a bunch of paperclips.
Guy: Wow, that's so cool!
Me: Um, thanks. *clicking shut, putting away* It used to have candy in it.
Guy: Cool! Can I have some?
Me: *refusing to believe this* You already have some paperclips right there on your desk...
Guy: No I want some of the candy.