I'm at a diner, and someone I'm with wants a beer.
He orders a Corona, and the waitress asks to see his id. He obliges willingly. The waitress stares at it intently for a couple minutes, we assumed at first she was checking to make sure it was valid. However, then she opens her mouth.
"1985... that makes you 22, right?"
"Uh, no, I'm 21".
"Oh, okay," and she scurries brightly off and returns with his alcohol.
What makes it even better is that we're in Jersey, and if she was just attempting to figure out whether he was of legal drinking age or not, our driver's licences are quite nice in that respect in that, until you are of age, the license is aligned vertically rather than horizontally, your face is shown in profile view rather than straight on, and it says in a big red bar on the side "under 21 until (date)". So instead of frying her poor little brain, she could have just noted the absense of any of these features.
It also occured to us at first that maybe this was just an attempt to insure that it was his license by getting him to slip up and saying he was the wrong age otherwise, but really, you could see the smoke her brain was emitting from the difficulty of attempting the math so I'm pretty sure it was just plain stupidity.
I work in a long term care facility and we have a nurse that works there that is an absolute bitch to all of the new people. She has the attitude that she is better than everyone else, and that she knows everything.
A few weeks after I started there,I was waiting for the next shift to come on so I could go home when she came out of a residents room, and looking dumbfounded asked the other nurse how you can tell if a catheter is in right because they always seemed to fall out when she put them in, and they never drained urine.
The other nurse went on to tell her how to position it, and the next thing I heard out of the nurses mouth was "Oh my God that's why it always comes out of the vagina". I couldn't believe what I had heard. This woman always acted like she knew everything, and yet something so stupid came out of her mouth. I do not understand how a woman and a nurse could not have any idea that there is a difference between a vagina and a urethra. She has kids. She had to know that you don't pee and have babies out of the same hole. I'm just glad that all nurses at my facility aren't that clueless.
My father and I went out for sushi tonight. We were talking about a new exchange student that was going to be staying with a friend. The following conversation ensues:
Me: Yeah, we're all getting dinner after the new student comes in. Wanna come?
Father: Sure, where are you girls going?
Me: Mmm, we're not sure yet. I suppose whatever the exchange student wants.
Father: Ooo, I know! Let's introduce her to SUSHI!!! I'm sure she'll love it!
Me: Uh, she's from Japan...
Me: Where's sushi from?
Me: Where's the exchange student from?
My father seems to be on a roll today...
[still on the topic of the new exchange student.]
Me: We're having an dance party to introduce the exchange student to our friends. It's 80's themed!
Father: That's cool. I have some disco music you can borrow if you want!
Me: Disco was in the 70's...
Father: No, I don't think so.
Me: Maybe early 80's, but it was most popular in the 70's.
Father: No no no, I'm pretty sure it peaked in the 80's...
Me: Pretty sure? You don't remember?
Father: No...I don't remember much of the 70's...
Well, at least he's kinda funny when he doesn't use his brain.