August 10th, 2006

(no subject)

I'm at a diner, and someone I'm with wants a beer.

He orders a Corona, and the waitress asks to see his id.  He obliges willingly.  The waitress stares at it intently for a couple minutes, we assumed at first she was checking to make sure it was valid.  However, then she opens her mouth.

"1985... that makes you 22, right?"
"Uh, no, I'm 21".
"Oh, okay," and she scurries brightly off and returns with his alcohol.


What makes it even better is that we're in Jersey, and if she was just attempting to figure out whether he was of legal drinking age or not, our driver's licences are quite nice in that respect in that, until you are of age, the license is aligned vertically rather than horizontally, your face is shown in profile view rather than straight on, and it says in a big red bar on the side "under 21 until (date)".  So instead of frying her poor little brain, she could have just noted the absense of any of these features. 

It also occured to us at first that maybe this was just an attempt to insure that it was his license by getting him to slip up and saying he was the wrong age otherwise, but really, you could see the smoke her brain was emitting from the difficulty of attempting the math so I'm pretty sure it was just plain stupidity. 

Tough choice: Celibate marriage or no license

from this news article: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14235934/

LINDSTROM, Minn. - LaRae Lundeen Fjellman could lose her state license as a massage therapist for having sexual relations with her husband.

Her husband, Kirk Fjellman, is a former client. He saw her professionally from October 2000 to May 2002, and the two say they started dating in July 2002. But when they consummated the relationship a few months later, they ran afoul of a Minnesota law that bans massage therapists from having sexual relations with former clients for two years.

"There's no harm, no victim," Kirk Fjellman said. "What's this about?"

The case is before a judge and could be decided this month, with LaRae Fjellman facing a fine and possibly loss of her license. The outcome could have implications for the private lives of an array of alternative health care providers.

Documents filed by the Department of Health say the therapist clearly violated the state law, passed by the Legislature in 2000. LaRae Fjellman does not deny she violated the statute but said she didn't know it existed until the state came knocking.

(no subject)

I work in a long term care facility and we have a nurse that works there that is an absolute bitch to all of the new people. She has the attitude that she is better than everyone else, and that she knows everything.

A few weeks after I started there,I was waiting for the next shift to come on so I could go home when she came out of a residents room, and looking dumbfounded asked the other nurse how you can tell if a catheter is in right because they always seemed to fall out when she put them in, and they never drained urine.

The other nurse went on to tell her how to position it, and the next thing I heard out of the nurses mouth was "Oh my God that's why it always comes out of the vagina". I couldn't believe what I had heard. This woman always acted like she knew everything, and yet something so stupid came out of her mouth. I do not understand how a woman and a nurse could not have any idea that there is a difference between a vagina and a urethra. She has kids. She had to know that you don't pee and have babies out of the same hole. I'm just glad that all nurses at my facility aren't that clueless.

(no subject)

My father and I went out for sushi tonight. We were talking about a new exchange student that was going to be staying with a friend. The following conversation ensues:

Me: Yeah, we're all getting dinner after the new student comes in. Wanna come?
Father: Sure, where are you girls going?
Me: Mmm, we're not sure yet. I suppose whatever the exchange student wants.
Father: Ooo, I know! Let's introduce her to SUSHI!!! I'm sure she'll love it!
Me: Uh, she's from Japan...
Father: ...okay?...
Me: Where's sushi from?
Father: ...Japan?
Me: Where's the exchange student from?
Father: ...Ja-oh.


My father seems to be on a roll today...
[still on the topic of the new exchange student.]

Me: We're having an dance party to introduce the exchange student to our friends. It's 80's themed!
Father: That's cool. I have some disco music you can borrow if you want!
Me: Disco was in the 70's...
Father: No, I don't think so.
Me: Maybe early 80's, but it was most popular in the 70's.
Father: No no no, I'm pretty sure it peaked in the 80's...
Me: Pretty sure? You don't remember?
Father: No...I don't remember much of the 70's...
Me: 0_o

Well, at least he's kinda funny when he doesn't use his brain.
Redheads make Good Witches

A Phd in what?

Two bits of stupid, one after the other at work tonight. I work in a call center and we conduct government-sponsored health surveys. The one I'm working on now has a $15 incentive to get people to take it. Towards the end of the survey, as we're collecting organizational data to file the results, we ask what is the highest grade or class you completed and what country it was in.

I had 2 different women who DID NOT KNOW what COUNTRY they were in. One of them had a Phd.

Me: What Country did you complete your last years of school in?
PhDuh: Houston.
Me:... Ma'am, that's a city.
PhDuh: Oh, Texas.
Me:.... no, ma'am, that's a state. What COUNTRY did you finish school in?
PhDuh:... uhhhhh.... uhmmm....
Me: It's between Mexico and Canada...
PhDuh: Well, can't you just put it in?
Me: Ma'am, I can't I DO know that answer, but I am not allowed to give -any- kind of answer.
PhDuh:.... I really have no idea.
Me: *headdesk*