July 18th, 2006

stfu

Random Quotes...

So I was just on a tour around Europe, one of our stops was Italy, Venice. We stayed in a hotel in another small city, Lido di Jesolo and then took a ferry into Venice one day. Well as we were walking around town one of the girls I was with starts off with:

"Why do the shirts say Italy on them!?"

We all just kinda stared at her until she realized what she just said...For a moment there she was thinking Venice was it's OWN country.
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Another girl came up with this one: (don't remember how the conversation started so no bg, sorry)

"No, tigers are female lions..."

Yeaaaaah...
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Just try to remember that we had, at most, 5 hours of sleep a night...at least that's what I'd like to blame these quotes on...
HHGG - improbability drive

one of those days

I think collectively my family would honestly win an award for stupidity. Collapse )

ETA: Since people seem to be confused and disgusted by the fact that we microwave our milk and add sugar too it, I'm adding a short explanation. We're Indians living in Singapore, so I suppose it must be a cultural thing that I hadn't even thought of. The way we generally drink our milk is by heating it up and then adding sugar and Milo - a chocolate drinking powder - to it. As a few people have now said, it's just like cocoa/hot chocolate. I left out the Milo adding in the actual story because I felt like it.
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    Lynsey Wells, Franz Ferdinand
interwebs, magicklorelai

The AC is a Broken Record

My friend told me this story, I thought I'd share it here. *snicker* Copied directly from our IM, so any spelling/grammar errors are hers, not mine.


Oh man... My brother's friend is definatly on the slow side. Its so hot, I'm lacking more and more modesty. So I'm hanging out in a bathing suit cover skirt, and my bikini top. He comes up and I have to answer the door, and he goes: "Okay... you're half-naked." I reply "Well, its hot, the air conditioner is broken."
He comes in: "Why're the windows open?"
"The AC is broken"
"where's Alex?"
"Outside with the repair man" "Wow, it's hot in here"
"Yes, the AC is broken" "...Oh! So that's why you're half naked!"

I wouldn't be surprised if the fact that my friend was "half-naked" had something to do why he wasn't grasping the concept.
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    drained drained
Dance

Can you be stupid on a boat?*

I went on a cruise for spring break a few months back, and on the last day they had a list of the stupidest questions asked on the cruise. I was reminded of this when I was on a harbor cruise a few weeks ago, but was too lazy to post until now. Anyway, on with the questions, sometimes with sarcastic answers. (Their answers, not mine.)

From the cruise:
Do these stairs go up or down?
Does the ship use it's own electricity? A: No, there's a 900 mile extension cord connected to an outlet in Florida
Is that fresh or salt water in the toilets? A: I don't know, and there's two reasons I've never checked: #1... and #2. (not necessarily stupid, but necessary to understand the answer to the next one)
What do they do with the ice sculptures after they melt? A: I don't know, maybe they dump them in the toilets.
5Have you seen my kids? A: If I did, I wouldn't know, but if I had to guess, they're probably pushing all the buttons in the elevator.
How do I know which [portrait] photos are mine?

How small does my face have to be for the mini-facial?
(there were 3 more, but I don't remember them)


And from the harbor boat ride
Passenger: About how deep is this water
Crew Member: About 30 meters
Passenger: Is that straight down?
Crew Member: [Sarcastically] Nope, its curvy.

Different Passenger: How many times a day do you run your sunset cruises?
(These were anecdotes from the crew, so I'm just assuming they were different people)


*I unfortunately have yet to see someone be stupid with a goat
King of All Cosmos
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"something nutritious"

New reader, first-time poster.

I have a friend who had major surgery yesterday. His doctors are recommending he stay in the hospital another night because he's throwing up a lot.

We just got an update from his mom, who is an RN (!). She said, "He's not keeping anything down but bread. I think he needs something nutritious, so I'm on my way to get him a Big Mac."
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celtic tenors

(no subject)

I work at a bowling alley.  A few days ago, a customer walked up to the counter with a "Buy One Game, Get One Game Free" coupon and hands it to me.

(Lady) Can you explain this coupon to me?
(me) You buy one game...and get one game...free.
(Lady) Oh.  Okay then.

The stupid!  It burns!
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poke

Passed-on stupid

A friend of mine sent this to me today:

One of the local television stations in South Louisiana aired an
interview with a woman from New Orleans. The interviewer was a woman
from a Boston affiliate. She asked the woman how such total and
complete devastation of the churches in the area had affected their lives.

Without hesitation, the woman replied, "I don't know about all those other people, but we haven't gone to Churches in years. We get our chicken from Popeye's."

The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.
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