My sophomore year in college, my roommate was a VERY beautiful girl from Germany. We'll call her Miriam. Miriam learned early on how stupid people (especially cops) were in Alabama, even in a college town.
Miriam: *blows through a stop sign doing 10 over the speed limit*
Cop: *pulls her over and asks for ID and such*
Miriam: *with an accent to put Heidi Klum to shame* Oh hello officer, how can I help you this evening?
Cop: You ran that stop sign, that's illegal.
Miriam: What's a stop sign? We don't have those in Germany.
Cop: Oh, really? Well, all right then. But from now on little missy, those big red signs mean you must stop ok?
Miriam: *bats her eyelashes* Oh, yes sir.
Me: *in the passenger seat, keeps mouth shut and BOGGLES!!!*
She'd been an American for 3 years, and WAS A LISCENSED DRIVER (in the USA)!!!
My mom, my sister, and I were talking about Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and the missing baby Suri.
Mom: Maybe Katie ate her, cause there aren't pictures. Or maybe she's deformed.
Me: Well, maybe they're trying to get more money than Brad & Angelina did.
Mom: They didn't get any money!
Me: Yes they did, they just gave it to charity.
Sister: They sold their BABY?!
She's still laughing about it, and watching me type.
My boyfriend and I went to the zoo today. The crocodiles had been moved into a habitat that once housed a different animal, I cant remember which one. Anyway, there was a waist high set of metal bars that curved outwards away from the exhibit, and a sheet of plexiglass about two feet long angled in towards the exhibit. the crocodile pit was only about four feet below. Sufficient to keep the crocodiles in, but not sufficient to keep stupid people out.
As my boyfriend and I commented on how ineffective the design was and how it was a lawsuit waiting to happen, a kid, about seven or so runs up and begins climbing the bars so he's literally sitting on top of the bars. And yes, sure, there's glass there, but one good tumble and the momentum would likely carry him over the glass and into the tank. Also, no escape ladder. Brilliant design.
I look around for the kid's mom and she's standing about four feet away. Just letting him climb away.
Me: (to my boyfriend) And that right there is why it's a lawsuit waiting to happen. Excuse me...you know those are fairly deadly animals. Maybe that's not the best place for your son to sit.
Mom: He's fine. I'm watching him very carefully. Mind your own business.
Yes. I'm sure "watching very carefully" will be incredibly effective if he suddenly lost his balance and tumbled into the croc pit. I guess this woman has magic time stopping ability or some other super power that would allow her to do something other than watch her kid get devoured.
Last night I found myself in a Wetherspoons. For the unintiated, this is a cheapo chain of pubs in the UK where you would only really go for the cheap drinks/2 meals for £5, I don't really like them, but I was meeting other people. Anyway, I bought a JD & Coke. After a few sips I realised that the syrup had gone on the coke machine, resulting in me basically having a glass of brown water and Jack Daniels. So I went back to the bar with my drink, where the manager was serving and explained. Now usually in this situation the person at the bar would just apologise, check the coke machine and pour a new drink.
Me: Oh, sorry, the syrup has gone on the coke machine, and my drink is all watery.
[Manager takes glass and looks at it very suspiciously as if I had poisoned it or something]
Manager: It looks fine to me, nice and brown
Me: Seriously, it's all watery and has no flavour.
Manager: That would be the ice in it, you just aren't used to how drinks with ice in taste.
Me: Sorry? There are about two ice cubes in this drink, if you don't believe me, taste some.
[The manager tastes some of the drink]
Manager: Just tastes like your standard nasty stuff mixed with coke to me. You shouldn't buy it if you don't like it.
[He then just dumps some more coke from the machine into my glass and turns his back on me]
I didn't see much point in complaining, seeing as he was the senior person and would just be unpleasant and not do anything. But how do you become the manager of a bar without knowing anything about drinks? Personal opinions about the taste of JD aside, also how can you be a bar manager without being able to identify the taste of pretty distinctive drinks?