*holds up a box of pens* "Are the pens in the box the same as the picture on the box?"
"What is a 'permanent marker'?"
*as they wander past 24 feet of envelopes* "Where are your envelopes?"
"Can I send email through my fax?"
"Does the other person have to have a fax machine to receive a fax?" (No, sir; our fax machines are specially designed to solidify any mass of matter, at any given point in the universe, into a neat stack of fax papers on your colleagues desk)
"What's the difference between 'hanging file folders' and 'non-hanging file folders'?"
And, from a co-worker, my person favorite...
"If I become a lawyer, and I know a man is innocent, but I send him to jail because I'm getting lots of money... does that make me a bad person?"
If that doesn't make you a bad person, what DOES make you a bad person? Drowning puppies in puddles of baby blood??
EDIT: I should clarify that last point about the lawyer. We had a lengthy discussion on the matter, and it boiled down to this: If a man was absolutely innocent of all charges, and my co-worker knew this for a definate fact, would he be wrong in sending this innocent man to jail in order for him to obtain large amounts of wealth for himself to buy fancy cars and big houses and things of that sort.
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He was calling a mental hospital/agency.
(and what I had actually said was, "Are you a patient here?")
This combination came into play when I was on the bus, heading to the Supermall to pick up some sushi to take home for dinner.
Me: Damn, the batteries on my MP3 player are dead. Ah well, It might be interesting to talk to some of the people on here.
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At this time, she gets off of the bus. I watch her leave, and spend the rest of the trip home smacking my head into the bus seat. I never did get any sushi, I decided to take us out to Black Angus, since I had used up all my bull.
"French Polynesia? Is that the same thing as France?"
"Oh my God!! Hawaii is all the way down there? I thought it was attached to Alaska!"
Anyone know the French for "that popping noise you just heard was my brain exploding"?
A few years ago I used to work at a Go-cart place. Pretty busy in the summer, stays open pretty late, which means we have some pretty bad customers. But this one guy, well, I'm glad I didn't have to deal with him. I was just a witness.
These guys come up to one of the bigger tracks. They ride around a few times, and when they're starting to leave, one of them realizes his wallet is missing. So they spend about ten, fifteen minutes searching the track, thus delaying other people who want to ride, before they come to the theory that one of the track operators stole it. So they call the police, who show up not long after.
The bottom line: The guy forgot that he put it in his back pocket, and it had been there the entire time.
So, a while ago she was doing research for her paper on comics and how they were different in different parts of the world. As we were sitting in the computer class, she turns to me and an another girl and laughs a little.
Her: Hehe, I was about to ask you whether Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was Japanese or American, but I caught myself in time. Duh, of course it's Japanese!
Me: Um, actually, no. It's American.
Her: Oh, it couldn't possibly be American! It has Japanese names! Americans wouldn't know any of those.
Me: (Excuse me? Is there a camera hidden somewhere?) Er, it's called research. Even Americans are capable of research.
She kept insisting, so I had to find the Wikipedia entry for TMNT and show it to her before she believed me. Her paper ended up being riddled with factual errors, too, but I decided I'd just shut up for the time being. She's a wonderful person and usually not all that air-headed, but America is one issue you don't want to bring up around her.