May 13th, 2006

star trek

On the topic of stupid marketing campaigns....

This somewhat recent memory was triggered by this entry.

I was driving the 300 odd miles home from my college in Gainesville, FL to Miami, FL, when I stopped at a RaceTrac off the highway to refill my gas tank.  As the gas was pumping, I noticed a sign (there was one posted on every gas pump) advertising the coffee for sale inside the station's store.

The sign read "The World's Best Coffee!"

Sounds good so far, right? 

The sign then has a big red X marked over "The World's", and then has "Florida's'" written over it.

W-T-F mate?  Who in marketing thought that this was a better idea?

Bad bad bad cover letter!

I saw this at work the other day - it's a cover letter for a technical position.

Cover Letter:

My name is [Big Idiot]. I am 26 yrs old. I know my resume isn't so great. I believe you shouldn't judge a person just by looking at his/her resume. If you think about it, if a person has all the computer certifications or degrees, why would he/she bother applying in the first place when he/she bother applying in the first place when he/she should already have a pc job which he/she feels comfortable doing for living? I am applying because I want to get into the computer field doing this line of work for living instead of just doing it on the side as a hobby. If I wanted, I could have gotten my CompTia A+ 2003, Server+, Network+, MCP, MCSA, and MCSE certifications. However, there are hardly any pc jobs out where I live. Even if there were, they required proof of experience working for some employer for certain amoutn of years. That's the problem. I don't have any friends who work in the computer industry who can just pull me in. That's the reason I didn't bother taking the exams for the certifications because I will be bull-shit with at the end. Especially when I am asian myself. People look down at me thinking I am not working enough that's why they turn me down. There do you think people be getting most of their merchandises from? USA? Of course not; most are imported from China, Japan, Korean, etc.

I know the purpose of resumes is so that employers can screen out the ones they want and rid of the ones they don't feel qualified enough. I guess this world is all about impressing others huh? Or should I say lying on resumes to impress employers? I am not full of shit like other peoples. I know the main question employers ask: "Why should I hire you over others for the position?" I believe that if you give me that chance, I can prove myself beyond worthy. I know computers inside and out. I know all the major manufacturers for CPUs (Intel, AMD), motherboards (Asus, Abit, Gigabyte, etc), memories (Kingston, Corsair, Geil, etc). I know everything there is at the hardware and software level. What's the term for someone who knows too much about computers but without the credentials to prove it? A HACKER of course, but I conside myself a white-hat hacker not a black-hat one who does damages.

I'm not trying to brag to anyone. I am just proving that I am way qualified enough; hoping that there is actually someone out there who cares and not discriminate because of one's race, age group, education, or work history.

Kurvi Tasch

Capital Punishment

My brother is researching capital punishment for school and just recently made the following pronouncement:

"In a lot of countries these days, they only have the death penalty for really serious crimes like crime".

Those are not the same animal, Brandy.

This happened about eight years ago when I was five and my sister was sixteen.

Her: You know, tigers and lions are basically the same animal.
Me: ...What? No, they're not.
Her: Yeah, they are! The tiger is the boy and the lion is the girl!
Me: You are SO stupid!

But she persisted for around ten minutes until I went in the kitchen and asked my mother who was right. We still make a mockery of my sister over this.

Turns out, she had been told that by one of her older friends (over forty years old, and on a ton of pain pills). I find it unbelievably sad.
Key on red

(no subject)

Many years ago, there was a pretty popular pizza place in my hometown that had a fairly big arcade..for a pizza place. One of the games that was always there was a crane machine, full of things like little cheap toys and mass amounts of candy. One time, I played this game and got, among other things, a three-inch-tall action figure from the movie Anastasia.

Printed in big black letters on the plastic baggie it was encased in was "WARNING: Not a toy."