Poking idiots in the eye since 2002

This mock goes to my loving sister. Who just turned 22 and is in a relationship.

My boyfriend was over for the night and he, being eager, forgot to bring condoms. So I went to my sister, knowing she has them, she has given them to me before. This lovely beauty came of it:

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Me the dunkin DONUTS employee: what can I get for you
Man: Do you sell donuts here?
Me:do you see the donuts behind me?
Man:yes
Me: well?

All the cheese stories reminded me of something one of my teachers told the class back in highschool.

It was chemistry class and we got off topic. We were talking about how yogurt was alive, then we moved onto moldy sour cream and whatnot. Then our teacher proceeded to tell us that one of his students had a grandmother who was convinced that storing the container upside down would prevent it from going bad.

The whole class seemed confused. The teacher proceeded to explain that it would only seem that it lasted longer because when you flipped it back rightside up the mold was hidden and you wouldn't see it. No atter how much it was explained to dear old grandma, she wouldn't be convinced, she has been doing that for years...

Three of my friends were studying for their field bio class. For the sake of their dignity, lets rename them...


Hannah- Where do zebras come from?
Liz- *guh?*
Hannah- I know they come from horses, but what are they bred with?
Liz- Yes. Horses and white tigers are bred together to make zebras.
Sarah- That's why you see so few of them. It's hellish getting them to mate.


**Bonus mock**

I'm short (5'1). My brother FINALLY hit puberty (hurray)! I invited him to see my dorm as he's never been there before. Walking back downstairs, I notice how he's taller than me. I stop, take off my sandals and see that he's at least a full head taller now. The following conversation then followed. Oh right. He's adopted.

Me: Wow, you're a lot taller than me.
Him: Cool!
Me: Lucky you, you've got tall genes.
Him (trying to sound smart): I learned that genes make you look shorter.
Me: Huh?
Him: That's why I wear sweatpants.

...it was then I realized that he was talking about jeans, not genes. *facepalm*

I had an idea. Tell me what you think.

I'm thinking of making a Mock the Stupid web comic. I'd take entries from the community that I thought were both really funny and would lend themselves to being made into a comic, and I'd draw one up.

My main concern is that people might not want their entries used like that...

Hokay, so.

Got on my bus today (which was about 50 minutes late..the next bus actually overtook us because it didn't have to stop for passengers) with this other guy who had been waiting at the same stop as me. He sits next to a girl who he obviously knew, because they started chatting. I sat near the back of the bus.
Anyway, this girl was very loud, so the entire bus could inadvertently hear her conversation. She didn't sound like a ditz, but I spose in the end she certainly does nothing to quash the stereotype about blondes:

Girl - You're so lucky I could come out today. My mum told me to stay at home because she's expecting a really important phonecall from overseas and I need to take a message coz they won't call back. Anyway, I thought I may aswell just go out and enjoy myself, and in case the phone goes..well, i thought i'd bring it with me!

at this point she reaches into her bag and reveals a standard cordless phone.

I choked on my twix.



(cross-posted in overheardinmelb)