April 26th, 2006

  • katyrr

(no subject)

This may belong in grammar_whores instead, but I'll leave that to the discretion of the moderator. It does go beyond a simple spelling/grammar mistake, though.

Some club on campus has put up fliers encouraging participation in the "Empty Bowls" project (a fundraiser for the homeless). Unfortunately, on their fliers, they made a distressingly common spelling error, and are actually promoting the "Empty Bowels" project.

Where, you may ask, did they choose to post their fliers?
That's right. In the inside of the doors of all the bathroom stalls of the dorms.
elmo

(no subject)

My mum's receptionist came in one day with a box containing those package styrofoam noodles... she put one in her mouth and started munching and then offered my mum one. My mum, startled, asked her what she thought she was doing (this lady is 46 years old and not the fluffiest squirrel in the tree, obviously) and the receptionist calmly said to her that the noodles were made of rice and tasted like cheeto's and that her friends had told her one day at lunch that the packing noodles were good to eat. She had believed them and spent the rest of the day burping and feeling unwell.
  • Current Mood
    complacent complacent
hey moon sticker

And you got into college, how?

A few years ago, I was taking an Astronomy 101 lab in college. It was the first day of class and lab partners were assigned. Then we were given what the TA described as a "freebie" assignment. We had to list the nine planets in order, from closest to furthest from the sun.

So I wrote down all the planets in order. My lab partner then tapped me on the shoulder and asked me for help.

Okay, I could forgive him for not knowing the order of the planets. That wasn't too bad. Except he also didn't know any of the planets, except for Mercury. He knew Mercury.

So I showed him my list and made a mental note to ask for a different lab partner. As he copied it, he looked up and asked, "Hey, why isn't the moon on this list?"
cartoon // jesus-pony

(no subject)

When I was still in high school I had a conversation a girl in my class about the house I lived in with my parents and grandparents. I mentioned to her that my grandma had some flower beds and a garden out behind the house.

Her: What do you mean?
Me: What?
Her: Like, I know what flower beds are. She grows flowers or whatever. But what do you mean she has a garden?
Me: A plot of soil where she grows vegetables? Sometimes fruit.
Her: People still do that?
Me: Um, yes.
Her: No way! Really?

I invited her to come over and take a peek but she declined.

(Edited to note that she knew about commercial farming, which is why she believed people didn't do it individually anymore. Because, why do it yourself when you can pay someone else to, right? ;])
  • Current Mood
    complacent complacent

Vitamins anyone?

Now my mother is usually a rather intelligent person.
But sometimes I just don't know what to say.

Now, I don't like to eat the crust on my bread.
Never have.

Mom: You should really eat your crusts
Me: Why? (expecting some starving children comment)

Mom: You should always eat my bread crust because that is where
all the vitamins are.
I pinch

(no subject)

I work with a major idiot...

A conversation involving me and my coworker Barb, regarding how to add slides to a PowerPoint presentation:

Me: Just add a duplicate slide and change the wording...
Barb: What? I don't get it
Me: To insert a new slide that contains the logo and header, just click 'add duplicate slide'. See? *shows her how* Then just change the wording
Barb: *looking dubious* Umm...ok.

5 minutes later...

Barb: Shannon, I need help! It's not working!
Me: *sigh* What's not working?
Barb: the slides
Me: Did you add duplicate slide like I showed you?
Barb: No.
Me: Well, why not?
Barb: Cause it keeps giving me the same slide over and over again.
Me: THAT'S WHAT DUPLICATE MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barb: Oh.
lynda barry

(no subject)

The other day in one of my classes (this is a 400-level college course, mind you), my professor handed out information for our next project. After she explained it to us, she proceeded to hang up some finished examples from previous students up on the wall for us to look at.

This one guy seemed absolutely mezmerized by some of them. He asked the professor, "how did they get this in COLOR?"

The professor kind of laughed and replied, "Well, I think they used a color printer."

"OHhhh! I tried to print something in color the other day but it only came out black and white."

"...do you have a color printer?"

"...no..."
baba

(no subject)

I bought a wedge of nicely-veined Gorgonzola cheese, put it on the kitchen table, and then went into my room to rest before dinner. When I came back less than an hour later, I found that someone had thrown it away.

Because it was 'moldy.'
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed
Subliminal Bunchie

A relayed mock...

My boss relayed a story to me as I was getting off work. He's currently being sued by a couple that he sold a house to early last year. This particular house is located in a small town about a half hour's drive from here. The house itself is located on a rather large plot of land. In addition, it is surrounded by 2 other rather large lots. My boss sold the house (and only the house) to the couple without using a real estate agent. He did, however, have a lawyer that stepped in to deal with all of the legal paper work. On the contract, it clearly says, "This sale is for the house only. The surrounding lots are NOT included in this sale. They remain the property of the seller" or something extremely similar to that. Basically, the lawyer made it very clear that the buyers were only buying the house. This is important (obviously, since I've said it three times now).

Sometime in July (several months after the sale), my boss was served with papers stating that the buyers were suing him. Why? Because they thought they were buying both the house and the lots. That in itself isn't entirely stupid. Common mistake, I suppose. The stupid part is this: When my boss' lawyer reminded the couple that it states on the contract that they were only buying the house, they responded with, "Who the hell reads the contract? We didn't! So, this isn't our fault. The land is ours!" Yes, that is literally what they said. *headdesk* He has to go to court next Tuesday to settle the matter. His lawyer said that if the judge rules in favor of the couple, he'll eat his shoe. As much as I want my boss to win... I'd still love to see his lawyer do that.
  • Current Music
    Queen - Killer Queen