April 24th, 2006

rock star?

reasons i am not a bio major, number #347

a recent story about idiots in a zoo reminded me of a self-mock...

I was on spring break (through my college) in edinburgh, scotland, and went to the edinburgh zoo on my free day.

I went up to an exhibit that was quite obviously sea otters, when a scottish man comes up to me and mentions that this was his favorite exhibit, and how he loves these animals - to which i reply
"Yeah, i love prairie dogs!!!"
and proceeded to talk to him for a good twenty minutes... about prairie dogs.
About a zoo back home that had prarie dogs, random facts about prairie dogs, etc.
It didn't even register for me when one of the "prairie dogs" came out of a little hut with a fish.
Because they have fish in the prairie *sarcasm*

After leaving this guy and walking down the hill, i notice signs for sea otters and go "oh man! if i see a sea otter, i'll be thrilled!" to which my friends finally tell me that that's what i've been looking at for a good twenty minutes.

no wonder people think americans are stupid.
I think my friends hate me.

I honestly have no idea what was wrong with me that day. I have never had issues between sea otters and prairie dogs before. *shrug*
oh, and sorry for misspelling prairie. I went and fixed it.
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    embarrassed embarrassed

oooh, just remembered one!

My future mother-in-law is generally compassionate, intelligent, articulate and generous, but for some reason when it comes to technology her brain malfunctions.

My future husband actually received the following phone call:

Mom: "Dom? Are you there? I'm in the parking lot at work. I need you to help me."
Dom: "What's wrong?"
Mom: "I left my automatic door unlocker in the office. I'm locked in the car."
Dom: "What do you mean, you're locked IN the car?"
Mom: "I already locked the doors, and I left the automatic door unlocker in the office. I can't get out of the car. I didn't want to have to call AAA. Can you come let me out?"
Dom: "Um. There's a... I mean is something wrong with the unlocking mechanism on the drivers' side door?"
Mom: "The unlocking mechanism..."
Dom: "On the drivers' side door."
Mom: "But I can't find my keys to start the car."
Dom: "You don't have to..."
Mom. "Oh." (Pause) "Never mind."

I swear to god I'm not making this up.


I am currently studying nursing and am about to go out on clinical practice. The members of clinical group (there's 10 of us) are not exactly a model of intelligence. I have 2 gems I would love to share:

Gem the First:
We were being taught how to do CPR using a dummy. Most people understand that CPR involves basically breathing into someone's mouth and pumping their chest to keep them alive right? Wrong. One potential nurse asked our clinical tutor if when giving CPR to a real patient, if we would actually have to breathe into their mouth. When our tutor replied well...yes amid our stifled laughs, this student replied ewww, gross!
Need I say more?

Gem the Second:
Another member of my group was talking to me and a friend of mine (from a different group) about how the guys at her work tease her. She told us how once, one of those guys asked her to get them a cup of steam, and she spent the next 10 minutes at the coffee machine, trying to work out how to get the steam to stay in the cup. I believe there are 2 elements of stupidity here.

Keep in mind that these individuals could one day be responsible for your care.
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    nervous nervous

(no subject)

I have a self-mock that I've been holding onto for a long time, not because self-mocks are frowned upon, but because it's so mind-numbingly dumb that I didn't want to admit that it happened to me.

I normally consider myself an intelligent person. I could whine defensively about grades and test scores, but everyone knows that sort of thing doesn't matter if you haven't been gifted with a little thing called common sense. I'm one of those people who, when presented with a problem, immediately conceives of the most difficult possible solution and struggles gamely on until inevitable defeat.

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    embarrassed embarrassed