April 10th, 2006

SIGH!!!! frustrated

Please sit down sir

My friend asked me to post this for him.

Whenever his grandpa went to McDonalds and was going to be eating in the restaurant, he always got his meals "to go". My friend asked him "why do you get them to go if you're just going to sit down and eat it in the restaurant?" He said "Well I don't want to eat it at the counter!"

Yes...he thought, and still does think, that if you say "for here" you're agreeing to eat it "right here"...as in, next to the register, and in fact he has done so several times despite the poor clerks asking him to please sit down.

I don't think they get paid enough to deal with stupids like that.
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  • felisd

Oy, da stupeed! Eet hurrrts!

I was riding the bus one day when I heard a conversation that came close to making my IQ drop several points.

Best bit from the conversation:

Vapid chick: So, like... how do you spell "duh"?
Chick's friend: (looks at her all "wtf??") ...What?
Vapid chick: How do you spell "duh"?
Chick's friend: "duh"???
Vapid chick: Yeah, you know, like, (Goes all Cher from "Clueless") "DUH!!"
Chick's friend: uh... D-A-H? I dunno!
October2009

Memories of 10th Grade science

One day we were discussing the food chain and large african animals. One kid, clearly was unable to grasp the full concept of it all, so my teacher, infinitely cool guy, took the time to use small words and speak slowly.

Teacher: OK. What does a lion eat?
Idiot: Uh. *looks at textbook* .. zebra?
Teacher: Yes! Now, what does a zebra eat?
Idiot: Lions?

At that point my teacher actually fell off his chair.
saphreanth

underage smoking!

So I went to the nearby 7/11 to buy a pack of cigarettes today, and had the following conversation.

Me: It's eleven dollars, right?
Cashier: Wait, I need to see your IC first.
Me: Oh, sure. *Hands over IC*.
Cashier: ...you're not over 18.
Me: Um, no, I'm 18.
Cashier: I don't think so. We're in year 2006 now, right? And you were born in 1987...so 2006 minus 1987 is...do you have a calculator?
Me: No, but 2006 minus 1987 is 19. As you can see my birthday is on the fifth of August, meaning I'm still 18.
Cashier: I think I'm going to have to call the manager.
Me: God, trust me, I am 18.
Cashier: *Calls over the manager anyway*. This girl says she's 18, but I don't think she is.
Manager: *Looks at my IC*. She's telling the truth, she's 18. *Leaves*.
Cashier: Oh. Sorry. But it's better that I checked. The police could come for me otherwise.
Me: Fine. Can you please give me the pack now?
Cashier: Yeah, hang on, I have to figure out how to work this register thing.

I know that you don't necessarily need to be the brainiest person to work as a cashier in 7/11, but seriously?
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    40 ft, Franz Ferdinand
Artsy me - by Micha

Not another self-mock/first post!

Yeah, I know it's a bit cliche, but it's what I've got.

Today mom found an old fountain pen of mine, I think I've had it for some 8 years and not used it for about half that time. So I changed the ink cartridge and gave it a try. No luck. Tried shaking it, running water over it, tapping softly on the paper. Nothing. Then, bright idea: suck on the tip! no you di'int!; yes, I did. And got a mouthful of ink. Just spent 10 minutes straight brushing my tongue to get the black stain off of it...

Ink isn't very toxic, right? Right??

(no subject)

Hello, this is my first post. The recent posts about dumb waitresses made me think of one airhead I encountered many years ago...

I had a major craving for French bread one day, so my boyfriend at the time and I went out to dinner at a place that was sure to have bread of SOME sort. After we were seated, I examined the menu and considered an entree that came with "fresh bread". I asked the waitress what kind of bread it was and, after looking confused for a brief moment, she took the menu, looked at it, and informed me that it was fresh bread.

...I stifled a laugh and thanked her for the clarification.
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