There's a cafe near my school- great sandwiches, okay coffee, nice people.
The last few times I got lunch there, I ordered a diet cherry cola. They *never* know what I mean. Honestly, am I being unclear?
"Hi, I'd like a medium diet pepsi with a shot of cherry syrup, please."
"Um, A medium diet pepsi, with a shot of cherry syrup added. I think it's about 40 cents extra."
"We have Wild Cherry Pepsi from the fountain, that's what you mean?"
"Noooo, I'd like a diet pepsi with a shot of cherry syrup. I know you have cherry syrup, I've had it here before, in fact it's right there *points* between the orange syrup and the carmel syrup."
"Uhhhh, I don't think we have cherry syrup."
"Yes. You do. Right there. Maraschino cherry syrup."
"I... I don't..."
*Cue Manager, who heard a bit of the conversation.*
"A cherry cola? Yeah, just add a shot of cherry syrup to a medium... you wanted diet? So add a shot to the medium diet. It's 40 cents extra."
"Ohhh! Okay." *Makes cherry cola*
Seriously, is this an unknown concept these days? It's not just this place, but an ice cream shop up the street from me, and other places. It's always a younger person who doesn't know what I mean. Am I the only one who loves 'em anymore?
Sweet, delicious, liquid love. Vanilla cola, too. And lime. Yesss.
My friend works for an answering company for a doctor's office. One time a patient called at 1am and the conversation follows
Mother - idiot
Friend - much better at not calling people idiots to their faces than me.
Mother: Yes, my daughter is having severe cramping every once in a while. It seems to be coming and going every 2-3 minutes... I need the doctor to give her a pain perscription.
Friend: OK. Let me just look up your information....
ma'am? Your daughter is pregnant?
Friend: Nine MONTHS pregnant?
Friend: Ma'am, you need to get off the phone, and drive your daughter to the hospital.
Mother: OMG IS this bad!?!
And you'd think the mother would have gone through labor some 20 years earlier, no?
A friend and I went to see the new IMAX nature film, Deep Sea 3D, at the local science museum where we were surrounded by parents and excited children.
Throughout the film, we kept hearing camera phones going off. It's a 3D movie, for crying out loud. It might look right to you with the glasses on, but you're gonna get a double image. -_-
Also throughout the movie, people around us kept putting their hands out and then exclaiming, "Oh my God, I can't touch it! I think it's too far away!" These were adults yelling these things, I might add.
My professor, supposedly quite the scholar, pronounces the name "Jacques" like "Jay-queez".
Today I have lost a great deal of respect for this man.
EDIT: I have just been informed that apparently, this is how Shakespearean actors pronounce the name. Strange. But I was wrong, and I no longer worry about the man teaching me.
Guess I'm the one who didn't know enough. :3
Yesterday in my American Studies class we were reviewing for a test on the end of the nineteenth century. We were allowed to ask the teacher questions about the information we'd covered, stuff that confused us, etc. It amazed me how little people listened...
Studious Kid: Who was Adam Smith? [Note: This was a legitimate question; we'd barely discussed him.]
Teacher: He wrote "The Wealth of Nations"... *goes on to describe stuff about free-market economies, Competition = Good, Monopolies = Bad, etc, mentioning Adam Smith's name at least three times* Any more questions?
Stupid Kid: Yeah, who was Adam Smith?
Teacher and half the class: That's who we were just talking about!
Stupid Kid: Oh, I thought that was Upton Sinclair. Who was Adam Smith, then?
Um, yes. Because "Adam Smith" and "Upton Sinclair" sound really similar. And "The Wealth of Nations" and "The Jungle" have everything in common and are really the same book, dontcha know...
I was standing in line at my school's bookstore eavesdropping on the two girls behind me.
Girl 1: Omigod! You are so not tan. Where'd you go over spring break?
Girl 2: I went home to Germany.
Girl 1: But why aren't you tan? Everyone else was in Florida.
Girl 2: I wasn't in Florida, I was in Germany. It's freezing in Germany.
Girl 1: Is that by where Santa Claus lives?
Okay, so I work at the local pizza place in my town. We get a fair amount of tourists, because there's a ski resort ten minutes a way, and a fairly large lake just up the road, where a lot of people have summer homes. There are often stupid people that come in, but two events happened on a recent saturday night while I was there that stand out.
I am on the phone, taking an order:
Customer: Okay, so I'll have two large pizzas, one small cheese (he has not at this point said what kind of large he wants) a large vegetarian, and a greek (at this point, I assume he just got confused. People do this all the time) His cell phone now breaks up. He calls back, and before saying anything loses the connection again. Finally, he calls back with reception.
Customer: I just called you, but I lost reception. I had three pizzas
Me: Yes, I have your order right here. You have one small cheese pizza, a large vegetarian and a large greek?
I then give him his number, and hang up.
Customer comes in to pick up order
Me: I'm sorry, but that order is not ready yet, would you like to pay for it now?
Me: You had one small cheese, a large vegetarian and a large greek?
I ring in the order, he pays for it. His friend watches this, says nothing.
About three minutes later, the order is done. I give it to him.
Customer: Excuse me miss, but we are missing two pizzas.
Me: Um, sir, they are all there.
Customer's Friend: No, we ordered five pizzas.
Customer: Yeah, we had two large cheese.
Me: I'm sorry sir, we must have made a mistake. Would you like us to make those pizzas for you now?
Customer: Yes please.
He had his order repeated to him twice At no point did I mention two large cheese pizzas. He also never ordered them...I'm not psychic, but maybe I should be???
Later that night:
Customer (different one): Um, yes, I'd like to pick-up number 15?
Me: Okay, I'll get that right for you. (I get order off of oven) A large greek pizza?
Customer: Yep. (I ring it up, he leaves)
15 minutes later:
Customer 2: Yes, I called in an order, number 15.
Me: I'm sorry sir, that order has already gone out.
Customer 1 enters, barges over to me.
Customer 1: Ma'am (he's angry) this isn't my order!
Me: Well, what did you order sir?
Customer 1: starts telling me about some subs, I recognize the order
Me: If you could hang on one moment sir, I'll get that for you?
(I talk to my manager, and give him his money back for the pizza he took, then ring him up for his order. His order has NO pizzas...large, small, greek or non-greek. He didn't even know the difference between a sub and a pizza. And here's the thing--the order was written down for him by his wife so that he could give it to me.)
My mother-in-law, is not the brightest bulb. Recently, we had my husband's family over for lunch, and here are the two gems that came out of her mouth.
me: does that dish have cheese in it?
mother-in-law: just parmesan cheese
me: oh, no thank you. I can't have dairy.
mother-in-law: but it doesn't have any milk in it!
sister-in-law: but cheese is made of milk
mother-in-law: but this parmesan cheese from costco has much less fat and calories in it than the normal parmesan you buy at the grocery store
sister-in-law: but it is still milk fat, which comes from milk
mother-in-law: but it has less calories!
at this point and time, I gave up listening to her as I was still astonished she thought parmesan cheese wasn't made from milk. If you thought that was bad, here was her second gem that struck us all speechless.
sister-in-law: next month I'm going to Quebec City for work
mother-in-law: oh really? you need to look up (random obscure dead relative), he started the new race of Canadians. The French Canadians.
me: a new...race?
husband: of Canadians?
mother-in-law: yes, there were no french canadians before he settled there, so he made a new race of Canadians.
My mother-in-law continued to babble, but I think our brains fried from her last statement of you know, some obscure relative of her making a whole new race of humans to live in Canada.