Last week I was standing on a beach with a friend. For whatever reason his eardrum popped and he looked at me and asked how high I thought we were above sea level. "About three inches" I replied.
As well as servicing customers in a phone centre, I also do minor work with computers at work. So yesterday, I set up the email for one of the girls who had moved into another department. She was settling in quite happily when I stepped out of the room for a minute, but was frowning when I returned.
A: the girl
M: What's wrong A?
A: It's not playing my cd! What's wrong?!?!
I open the cd tray and peer inside. There was the cd . . . . UPSIDE DOWN.
M: . . . It's upside down. o_O
A: . . . . . Ooops.
This one managed to get past me before it registered what was said.
I was playing a (very loud WW2) game and listening to some (very loud) music on my headphones when I somehow manage to hear someone banging my bedroom door.
I take off my headphones, yell something along the lines of "whaaaaat?!" through the door (as this is my designated me-time, and I am not usually disturbed-- hence my rudeness).
Mom: What are you doing in there? I've been yelling for you forever!
Me: I'm just listening to music, I've got my headphones on, sorry.
Mom: Well next time take off your headphones when I'm calling you.
Now.. I can kinda, sorta understand it. But, how am I supposed to know she's calling me, so that I can take my headphones off?
"So the Jews called Jesus The Torah?"
I teach Science in a pretty rough secondary school in England and today we ran a roller coaster challenge - making a marble roller coaster out of paper, masking tape and pipe lagging.
To win the grand prize the kids had to write an 800-word essay about the physics of the roller coaster.
What we got from the foundation group boys was an 800-word sentence. No stopping. One long sentence.
Every now and again the word arse was inserted. (The British version of ass)
I couldn't work this out, had someone deliberately put in curse words.
Eventually I worked it out.
In my area they say OURS with an A sound at the beginning - arrr-z.
The kids had spelt this phonetically as arse.
Me, the Head of Science, the acting Head of English, the Principal and the visiting Vicar, we all mocked the stupid :)