Poking idiots in the eye since 2002

Hiya

Normally I don't bash Tech Support people. I know a lot of people in the field, and they have a very tough job. That being said, this was too good to pass up.

Tech Support: "Hello, can I have your name and number."
Me: Gives it
Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?"
Me: "I downloaded, off of XBox Live Arcade, Outpost Kilko X. Everytime I get pass the end of where the demo ended, it freezes, even though I paid for it."
Tech Support: "Okay, what is the name of the game?"
Me: Understanding that she could have lost it in the explination. "Outpost Kilko X".
Tech Support: "Is this the only game its happing with?"
Me: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Is your disk scratched?"
Me: Again, understanding that she could have missed it, and probably has a troubleshooting script anyway. "No. I downloaded it. Off of XBox Live Arcade."
Tech Support: "Okay. Is your clock set correctly?"
Me: "Yes..."
Tech Support: "Is the region correct?"
Me: Getting frustrated, but not horribly yet. "I assume so. I downloaded it. From XBox Live Arcade."
Tech Support: "Oh Okay. Does it get past the loading screen?"
Me: Figuring she finally got it. "Yes. But generally not much further then that."
Tech Support: "Okay. You need to take the game back to the seller you bought it from and exchange it."
Me: *Headthump* "I CAN'T. I Downloaded it. Off of Arcade."
Tech Support: "Oh. Then you need to delete it from your Hard Drive."
Me: "But then I'd have to repay for it. I don't have the money or credits to do so."
Tech Support: "I'm sorry. YOu are going to have to call back, later tonight. Our computer system is down." *Click*

Borrowed from rhodamine on my friends' list.  I think it qualifies:



For those who don't entirely get it, it should read "Hail Satan: SLAYER"

My dear friend Kath, as she was writing something-or-other for lifeguarding, turned to me and said, "Hey, how do you spell CPR?"

Many years ago, shortly after I graduated from high school, I went to dinner with my parents at the local bowling alley. My mother ordered a coffee and a large glass of ice water. Our server was a girl I'd gone to school with, who was a couple of years younger than me. When she brought our drinks to the table, the large ice water was a small glass with just water in it.

When my mom politely asked her where the ice was, the girl responded with, "What's the point? It will just water it down when it melts."

Umm...duh?

Okay, one of my majors is Political Science and one of the requirements for my degree is a class called "Intro to Public Policy." So today we were talking about different ways that State legislatures can adapt their policy, including budgets.

Teacher: Okay, so 2 States do this...and 20 States do this...and 28 States do this...
Annoying Guy Sitting Next to Me: So that's the first 50.
Me: What?
Annoying Guy: Well we're up to fifty, what's next.
Me: ...
Annoying Guy: Wait, how many States do we have?
Me: Um. 50.
Annoying Guy: Oh. I always think 51 or so.
Me: . . .



OUCH.

So a few weeks ago, I bought a car. It was used and had only been at the dealership a few hours when I bought it (it was a trade in). When we left, the guy who sold it to me said that he thought there was some kind of antitheft system where it wouldn't start if you didn't open it with the remote. That seemed silly to me, since there were valet keys and everything, and I promptly forgot.

Flash forward 3 weeks. I run a few errands and stop to fill the car up for the first time. I finish, turn the gas cap 3 times like it tells you to so it won't flash the "Check engine" light, and try to start the car. Nothing. Although the interior lights and radio come on, indicating that there's some kind of charge in the battery.

Freaking out, I call my dad, then AAA. They send a guy out, and we try to jump it and he whacks the starter with a metal rod (apparently this helps sometimes). Oddly, the engine doesn't seem to be trying to turn over (which it should with a little battery left) or even click like it usually does.

We tow the car to my mechanic (fortunately within the 5 mile free towing radius for AAA). I feel bad as they're pusing this car around in neutral and the mechanic even makes room is his fridge for the milk that was in my trunk. About 3 or 4 guys (fortuantely there were no other cars there) are swarming over the car, looking at different things and troubleshooting. Finally, one guy notices a flashing light hanging down from the dash. This apparently rings a bell for him and he hits the "unlock" button on the remote.

Car starts happily. And I attempt to find something to crawl under. At least I didn't take time away from other, paying customers.

Then, later that day, I thought I'd discovered a hole in space-time and that a 15 degree C fluid was cooling a 300 degree material to -50 degrees C. And then I noticed that I'd forgotten to add a term when I entered it into my calculator. And all was well.