Poking idiots in the eye since 2002

At work today, on our messenger system, this little gem popped up from the new temp in the office.

Her: Can you see outside?
Me: Yes, why?
Her: is it raining?
Me: No, at least not yet.
Her: does your PC have arthritis?
Me: What do you mean?
Her: does it act up when it rains?
Me: ...
Her: this one back here...it's acting up like it was raining. everytime it is fixin to rain at my house, my own PC acts up like this.. like it's got arthritis...
Me: You do know that computers can't get arthritis, right?
Her: they can... mine at home does this...but only when its fixin to storm...
Me: I don't really think that's arthritis, though.
Her: yeah it is... my back acts up when it's fixin to rain and the doctor said it was arthritis
Me: Well arthritis has to do with the joints in your body. It has nothing to do with computers.
Her: if it don't have arthritis then why does it act up?


At that point in time I logged off of messenger to avoid more of that conversation.

Browsing around SuperDickery.com, I was reminded of a particularly stupid crush a friend of mine had a few years ago. The boy's name was Nathanael, my friend is Megan.

Megan: *pretends to punch Nathanael in the stomach*
Nathanael: Ha, you can't touch me! I'm invisible!
Megan: *laughs, thinking Nathanael is kidding* Nathanael, you suck!

*a few minutes later, walking back towards the classroom at the end of
lunch break*

Nathanael: Wait, I meant invincible!
Megan: What?
Nathanael: ...nothing.
Megan: ...you weren't joking, were you?

This is the same guy who put up his hand in the middle of class and said, in all
seriousness, "I just ate a pencil lead. Am I going to die?"

My manager is currently trying to hire me an assistant, so she is receiving resumes from the local unemployment agency. She just brought one over to me and said, "See if you can spot what's wrong with this one." The resume has each job listed with employer, followed by title, then job description. This girl's resume had three jobs posted and the last one was:

Mid-America, Inc.
No Title
Did not work there.

Wha...? o.O

I posted recently about the stupid things people have said in my environmental science class. I collected another gem today, possibly the best of the bunch.

We were done with today's lesson, and were basically just hanging out until the end of class (only about five minutes or less). A girl, we'll call her Bimbo, was complaining loudly of boredom, so our teacher decided to entertain her. She (the teacher) took a piece of paper and wrote on it. From where I stood, I could see that she had written, "Please Turn Over." Then she flipped it over and wrote the same thing on the other side. Now the words, "Please Turn Over" were written on both sides of the paper.

You all know what's coming, right?

Our teacher handed the paper to Bimbo. Bimbo stared at it for a second, then turned it over. Then she turned it over again. And again. And again. And then she looked up and whined, "I don't get it!"

Silly litle incident while on the phone to my cousin last week. We were chatting away and she mentioned she was going to make herself a cup of tea. I jokingly asked if she'd make me one while she was there. We kept talking and I could her her banging around in her kitchen.

Then she says, "Hey, [Three], where do you want me to... oh crap."

I burst out laughing because I knew straight away that my dear, ditzy cousin who lives in another state had made me a cup of tea. I'm terribly fond of her, but there's a reason why we tell blonde jokes in her company.