January 16th, 2006

polly

(no subject)

First: From a previous post, I found the "I Used to Believe" website, and was looking at it with my little sister. She is 11 and not stupid at all..but I could not help but submit this gem.
The posts sometimes have a user name at the bottom, but other times it is "Anon," obviously for anonymous.
My little sister comments, "Wow, this guy Anon thought a lot of crazy things."

Another one: I work at Walgreens, in the photo lab. But the other day, we had a new guy running it, so I was shoved into the cosmetics section. As terribly exciting as make-up is, I hate running that section. There is nothing to do. So I set to taking down the ad stickers for the sales that were ending on that day.
A woman is looking at products next to me as I am tearing down the stickers. Right after I took down the sticker on the eye cream, she says, "Excuse me, but can you put that sticker back up for a minute?"
I give her a blank stare for a second, confused as to why she is asking that.
She says, "I was about to buy that, but I want the sale price."
I tell her that the sale ends that night, and she will get the product for that price when she gets rung out. But she insists, "I can't get it for the sale price if the sticker isn't there. Just put it up for a second, I will grab one, and you can take it down."
I started to speak, but stopped myself mid-whatthefuck and just put the sticker up for her..the customer is always right, right? ::rolls eyes::
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
think different, Macintosh

Talk about tart food...

Since prosciutto was brought up in the comments to the recent post about German bacon, I figured I ought to post this wonderful bit of artificial stupidity from Microsoft Word's spell checker:

Microsoft Word correcting 'prosciutto' to 'prostitute'

(Yes, I know, this screenshot is from the Mac version, as that's what I use, but this same oversight is in the Windows version as well.)

Now, perhaps this in itself isn't MTS-worthy, but what is is the fact that people have actually accepted Word's correction on this particular term— as, for instance, in this recipe or this one, among various others...
  • Current Music
    E-Logic - Run To Me

One from the archives

I used to work at Hot Topic (read: idiotic teenager central).


One weekend night this girl came in with a shirt she'd made with iron-on letters that said


Your
Stupid





When she came up to my register we had a little conversation (since, you know, she had emblazened her idiocy across her chest). I said, "You do realize what's wrong with your shirt, right? Why everyone will just snicker at you for it?" She said, "Yea, but if I add the E it won't be centered" *headregister*
Grey girl barely holding them together

In which the solution appears obvious

You know sometimes when you've got a throat infection, the only fluids you can handle have to be at body temperature - not too hot, not too cold?

My sister had such an infection several months ago, when she needed to take a short domestic flight.

My sister, to flight attendant: Excuse me, could I have a mug of warm water please?
Flight attendant, brow furrowed: Hmm.. no, I'm afraid we don't have any warm water. Sorry. We've only got cold water or the hot water from the urn. *happy her job is done, turns to leave*

My sister, through gritted teeth: Which you could mix to make warm water?

Lateral thinking.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
crossbody

The Great Taquito Puzzle:

I got some frozen taquitos at the grocery store the other day (that's not the mock). On the interior bag it has the following heating instructions:
"Microwave: Approximate cooking time per taquito is 30 seconds. Increase heating time by 30 seconds for each additional taquito."

This is followed by the following table to help with the math I suppose:

Quantity of Taquitos/ Microwave Time
1/ 25 seconds
2/ 45 seconds
3/ 1:00 min.
4/ 1:15 min.
5/ 2:15 min.
6+/ for best results bake or fry

(I don't know how to make actual tables in LJ...)
Ruby

PEDO WHAT???

Read in the paper today something that made me laugh in an embarrassed way...even though it would have been bloody terrible for the poor person.

This happened in Wales where a group of very community minded, but very dumb and uneducated people tried to attack someone, who had just moved into their area. They thought this person was a Pedophile.

This said person happened to be the new Pediatrician.
Redheads make Good Witches

Lactose-free?

Okay, so I work in reatil. For my parents. In an herb store. I get to hear my fair share of stupid customer/people stories but this was just silly. Altho the man in question is like, 79 and thus allowed to be a little less than sharp.

This old man comes into my store looking for arthritis medicine. My siter sells it to him and he's off on his merry way. about half an hour later, the phone rings. I"m in the back room and can't answer it, so my sister takes it. 5 minutes later she comes back, laughing. Here's what happened.

My sister: Good afternoon, [store name].
Old Guy : Yeah, I just bought somma that there toomeric (turmeric) and I was readin the warnin on teh bottle.
Sis: What warning, sir?
Old Guy: The one that says 'Do not use is pregnant or lactating.' I don't think i can take this stuff.
Sis: ......what?
Old Coot: Yeah, cuz ya see, I gotta drink that 'Lactaid' stuff instead of milk.

She explained to him that lactating meant nursing and he got a good alugh at himself. Old people... Oy...
mara blues
  • thayett

Grandpa married who?

My sister (who loves this community) was telling me this story. She was talking with a girl in her (eigth grade) class about our great-uncle.

Girl: So how's he related to you?
Sister: He's married to my great-aunt.
Girl: Okay, how's she related to you?
Sister: Well, there's my dad. His dad is my Grandpa, and my grandpa's dad is my great-grandpa. My great grandpa had my grandpa and years later, my great-aunt.
Girl: Oh, you mean your grandma!
Sister: Uh... no, she's my grandpa's sister.
Girl: Yeah, your grandma.

Continue Indefinitely. Eventually, my sweet wonderful perfect sister gave up. I mean, she drew a diagram for the girl, and the girl still didn't get it.