NEW! If you think a post is just HILARIOUS beyond belief and want it memorialized forever with the coveted "Best of MTS" tag, there are two steps you need to take: 1) nominate the post in the comments for that post and 2) [most importantly] EMAIL ME at firstname.lastname@example.org WITH A LINK to let me know you've nominated a post. Based on the number of positive votes I will add the glorious tag to the post.
Do you hate stupid people? Do you find yourself pasting some of their stupidity for your friends to read and laugh at? Yes? Then welcome home! This is a community for posting the staggering and hilarious stupidity that we encounter in life.
The goal of this community is HUMOR. We are here to laugh. The number one reason for posts being rejected by the moderator is for not being very funny. Additionally, rejected posts that are rejected for the reason of not being funny enough or particularly stupid usually do not have a note attached (with the volume of submissions, it would take too long.) so if your post was rejected with no explanation, that means the moderator felt it was lacking in humor or stupidity.
Note: If you really need clarification on why your post was rejected, please quote or at least summarize the post when you email the mod. She has no idea what you're talking about if you just show up asking "why was my post rejected??"
MTS is NOT a place to simply whine about dumb people, or to post the spelling mistakes in your cousin's email to you, or to bitch about the Taco Bell employee who forgot your sour cream yet again, or post every chat log from every IM you have with a moron.
Not every story is good enough for this community. What is "good enough"? Well, a couple of general questions to ask yourself may help:
• Would it make a total stranger wet their pants laughing?
• Would it make a total stranger's jaw drop in amazement?
If the answer to either is "yes" then it's probably good enough. If the answer to both is "no" then it really does not belong in this community. In the end, it is the decision of the moderator as to whether or not she thinks it is funny. Sorry, but that's the way it is.
Here are some guidelines that the community has come up with:
• The so-called "tradition" of having your first post be a "self-mock" is one that we HATE and we're not sure how people came to believe they were supposed to do this. Please, please, please DO NOT DO THIS. In fact, such posts will be deleted with extreme prejudice. Self-mocks are RARELY funny and when people feel they need to dig one up just so they can make a first post, they tend to be ten times LESS funny than that! Please, let's all work together to KILL this STUPID tradition. Ok? Thanks. Oh, and if it's your first post? We really don't care--you don't need to announce that it's your first post. In fact, please don't. It serves no purpose at all. It's a little like walking into a stadium full of people and announcing "hey! I'm new! I just got here!".
⇒ When posting a conversation, please use something more than cryptic one-or-two letter abbreviations for each person's name (if it requires a key at the top, it's probably in violation of this rule). If you don't want to use real names, just make up different names, or use a title such as "teacher" "idiot" etc. Breaking this rule gets many posts rejected every week that would otherwise have been approved.
• Don't post inside jokes or things that only a certain group of friends would understand or find funny.
• Don't post spelling/grammar errors unless they are absolutely bedwettingly hilarious. 99% of them are not. Don't fear--there IS a place you can post them! It just isn't here. Try one of these communities, which share a lot of the same membership as our community:
grammarpolice, grammar_whores and grammar_nazis
• Only post chat logs if they have universal appeal and are extremely funny. Most chat logs are not funny to most people.
• Use the <lj-cut> tag when posting anything longer than a couple of paragraphs.
• Use the <lj-cut> tag when posting images.
• If your post requires a long explanation of why it is stupid or funny, then it probably isn't worth posting.
• Ignorance is not the same as stupidity. Someone's lack of knowledge isn't usually that funny unless it's something really, really outrageous and obvious.
• Generally speaking, stupid stuff that happens offline is funnier than online stuff.
• Making fun of people's English skills when that isn't their native language isn't funny; it's mean spirited.
• Making fun of people's religion isn't funny either--it's boring.
• Generally speaking, don't post stuff that you don't know first-hand. Your cousin's father-in-law's neighbor's cleaning lady's story just loses something in the translation.
• If it is something that happened in the media, check to make sure it hasn't been posted already.
• Check with Snopes.com before posting stories that you've heard--they may be urban legends.
• Don't use the community as a way to "get back" at someone you don't like or don't agree with.
• Don't post things as "stupid" when really they are just "things you don't agree with".
• Do not flame other community members.
• Do not delete or screen other people's comments. Abuse of this rule can lead to banning. Deleting your own comments will also put you on shaky ground, especially if it leads to a discussion no longer making sense. You should really only delete a comment because you have fixed an error or double posted or something. Think before you post!
• Do not turn off comments on your posts. Posts with comments disallowed will be deleted.
And some things to keep in mind:
• Posts to the community are viewed by a moderator before going through. This means there is a delay between when you post and when it shows up. Less than half of all submissions are approved. Don't take it personally if yours is rejected.
• You must be a member of the community to submit your post, and you must be a member of the community to have the post approved. Joining just to post, then un-joining, therefore, does NOT work.
• If you make a post mocking someone's stupidity, and you come across as a total moron yourself, you WILL find yourself the on the receiving end of some mocking yourself. Proofreading your posts and comments is therefore highly recommended. The meanie-head moderator will occasionally allow otherwise unsuitable posts through just because the poster is so stupid.
• If you annoy the moderator (especially by whining about what gets approved), she will ban you. She's gotten sick of the whining. If you flame the moderator, she may ban you as well. She doesn't need to take your crap. She started this community for fun, not as some selfless public service--she has no obligations to you whatsoever. If you are banned and you come back with another name, because in your 3rd grade mentality you just cannot let it go, you will be reported to LJ because ban-evasion is against the LJ TOS. Plus it's just sad and only total losers do that. Don't be pathetic. Just don't.
• "Hey, my post about someone's stupidity about geography was rejected, but this other post almost just like it was approved! What gives?" Yes, well, here's the thing. We get SO MANY geography-related posts that if we let them all in, they'd take over the community. Thus only a "representative sample" actually make it through.
• MTS is not the PC Palace. We're not politically correct, and if that bothers you, then go away. You won't like it here. Getting all aflutter over someone's choice of words in a post on an internet humor board is just kind of sad. If you find a post's topic offensive, well, don't read it. It's a pretty simple concept.
• If you have a problem with a post, you can send an email to mts_mod, who may remove the post at her discretion. Please note: The mod does not generally read comments that don't arrive via email unless she's very bored. She also finds LJ's comment threading annoying so if there are more than 50 comments, she probably hasn't looked. Therefore, don't expect her to spot problems except by chance--you need to email her with a link.
Other communities you may enjoy:
rejectedmts (for those posts that don't make the cut here)
A note about moderation: There is only one moderator for this community. We used to have multiple moderators but it did not work out. There was no consistency to the approval process, and some moderators would approve things that others wouldn't, and vise versa. It cause a lot of problems and we did away with it and we will not be returning to that method again.
draconian rules and guidelines v1.7, last updated June 2007
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