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Poking idiots in the eye since 2002
...it's mocktacular!
Oh, the violence ... 
25th-Feb-2008 02:13 pm
My local grocery store sells half-round cakes. They put them together, frost and decorate them, then slice them in half and put them out for sale. Today, I was in the store perusing the cakes to see what decorations they were doing, and I came across the most unintentionally, hilariously violent cake.

Say you're having a small birthday party for your child, so you pick them up a little cake with a clown on it:

But there's a bit of disturbing imagery here ...

Would your child really want a cake featuring a clown whose FEET HAD BEEN CHOPPED OFF???

Now you have a clown whose blood is running down the side of the cake. (Yeah, his hand got it too, but the feet are off completely; plus, the red frosting makes it look so much gorier...) It makes me wonder if a mob hitman is on the other half of the cake.

The funny thing is, if they had rotated the knife about 1/8 of an inch to the right, they'd have been just fine.

Yes, I bought the cake. I couldn't resist.
27th-Feb-2008 10:42 pm (UTC)
*dies laughing*

A Mr. Bill head would complete this.
27th-Feb-2008 10:42 pm (UTC)
Yes, I bought the cake. I couldn't resist.

Good! I know I would have...:)
28th-Feb-2008 07:08 pm (UTC)
same here.
27th-Feb-2008 10:42 pm (UTC)
I thought it had a machine gun in its hand.
I fail.
27th-Feb-2008 10:45 pm (UTC)
Well, that would fit in with the mob theme...
27th-Feb-2008 10:44 pm (UTC)
So horrendous, and yet, so delicious.
27th-Feb-2008 10:59 pm (UTC)
You should add a 'Mr. Incredulous' to your icon.
27th-Feb-2008 10:49 pm (UTC)
I dunno. I've pretty much wanted to do that to every clown I've ever encountered, so maybe the bakery worker just has the same issues.

After all, they can't chase you if they don't have FEET. Muahahahahahhaa....
27th-Feb-2008 10:50 pm (UTC)
27th-Feb-2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
LOL! That's awesome!
27th-Feb-2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, my stomach hurts from the laughing. I so would have bought that cake, too. Thanks for sharing, that was AWESOME!
27th-Feb-2008 10:55 pm (UTC)
Why Don't they just make smaller cakes, instead of baking a cake and cutting it in half??
Let alone have a clown with blood oozing from its feet.
27th-Feb-2008 11:02 pm (UTC)
Most grocery chains get their cakes prebaked, and come in standard sizes like 8" rounds. It's more economical for the stores to be able to sell half cakes, then to try to store lots of different sizes that may or may not sell.
27th-Feb-2008 11:03 pm (UTC)
It looks a bit like it's playing with itself, too..

..just me, then? :(
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27th-Feb-2008 11:26 pm (UTC)
Hey kids! Say hello to Mr. Stumpy!
28th-Feb-2008 12:22 am (UTC)
Yeah, I named him Stumpy the Clown ..
27th-Feb-2008 11:37 pm (UTC)
It reminds me of those picture cakes. Wonder what the psychoanalysts will say about our generation? "And then mommy brought out a huge cake with my face on it and cut it into little pieces."
28th-Feb-2008 12:27 am (UTC)
A friend of mine is a professional cake decorator. Someone e-mailed her asking if she would make a first birthday cake that looked like the child! (My friend hasn't decided how to respond yet.)

Someone's been watching "Ace of Cakes" too much. I wonder if they want it to be red velvet, too.
28th-Feb-2008 12:04 am (UTC)
It reminds me of that Friends episode, where Joey and Chandler lose Ross's baby, then find him and another baby at a daycare. Except, one baby has diapers with ducks, the other, clowns.


JOEY: Okay, it's the one with ducks...ducks have heads, right?

(gives him a dirty look)

CHANDLER: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday party?!
28th-Feb-2008 01:38 am (UTC)
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28th-Feb-2008 12:04 am (UTC)
Would your child really want a cake featuring a clown whose FEET HAD BEEN CHOPPED OFF???

I'd be more pissed that my mom/dad was such a cheapskate and only got half a cake, personally. I mean, come on, it's my frickin' birthday here, splurge a bit!
28th-Feb-2008 12:31 am (UTC)
That as well!

When I cut it up, I think we got 6 slices out of it.
28th-Feb-2008 12:12 am (UTC)
Why the hell would you decorate a cake like that if you knew you were going to cut it in half????

Oh, life's mysteries.

Anyway, feet or not, it looks like a tasty cake!!
28th-Feb-2008 12:36 am (UTC)
As an amateur cake decorator, I was bugged that that whole side of the cake was unfrosted, but that might have just been me ...

It was pretty good. Standard grocery store cake.
28th-Feb-2008 12:45 am (UTC)
our grocery store sells tiny cakes, which is way better than cutting cakes in half.

you couldn't even write on this cake if you wanted to! the clown takes up too much of it. wow, that is a stupid cake...for so many reasons.
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28th-Feb-2008 12:58 am (UTC)
oh my god, i am dying of laughter. this is the funniest thing ever!
28th-Feb-2008 01:19 am (UTC)
Also, it looks like the clown is grabbing his crotch.
28th-Feb-2008 05:40 am (UTC)
hey-if somebody hacks off both of your feet and some of your fingers, you might be tempted to cover your junk, too. :D
28th-Feb-2008 01:26 am (UTC)
It worked, though, you bought the cake.
28th-Feb-2008 01:40 am (UTC)

The only good clown is a dead clown.
28th-Feb-2008 01:43 am (UTC)
Violent CAKES LOL!
28th-Feb-2008 02:34 am (UTC)
It also looks to me like he's doing some Michael Jackon crotchgrab move. But maybe that's just the angle of the photo ^_^
2nd-Mar-2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
That's what I thought too.
28th-Feb-2008 03:23 am (UTC)
Oh! I remember this from cake_decorating. Still funny.
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28th-Feb-2008 05:11 am (UTC)
That is the scariest freaking cake I have ever seen in my life.
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