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Poking idiots in the eye since 2002
...it's mocktacular!
I have no words... 
24th-Jan-2008 11:21 pm
WTF
This is a college funny.

I live in a dorm, which means community showers, microwaves, sink, etc.  Not a big problem for me.  I'm over at the sink, washing my dishes, when a girl down the hall comes over with her own dishes.  While she's waiting, she decides to tell me half her life story.  After this, she asks,  "I just had sex last night.  Does that mean I'm still a virgin?"

...After a few seconds of gaping, I found out she was serious, to which I replied, "Yes, yes you are." 

I grabbed my things, went back to my room, and lost it. 
Comments 
26th-Jan-2008 03:29 am (UTC)
Oh dear.

I can only imagine how insulted the guy would be if he heard that. x[)
26th-Jan-2008 03:34 am (UTC)
that comment made me laugh more than the post itself xD


ps: Naruto for the win :3
26th-Jan-2008 06:06 am (UTC)
BAHAHAHAHAHA
26th-Jan-2008 03:36 am (UTC)
oh wow. That made my night.
26th-Jan-2008 08:27 pm (UTC)
Hers, too, I bet! She just found out she can have sex and not lose her virginity.
26th-Jan-2008 03:43 am (UTC)
Uhhhhhhh

Wow, I have no words for the utter stupid...
26th-Jan-2008 03:45 am (UTC)
Of course individual results may vary, but I'm pretty sure you're still a virgin for about 72 hours after having sex. This is true for every occurence of intercourse. So, you know, regain your innocence; have sex. < /sarcasm>
26th-Jan-2008 04:53 am (UTC)
Once you lose your virginity, it's gone... so you have to have sex every 72 hours to maintain being a virgin.
26th-Jan-2008 03:13 pm (UTC)
So much icon love!
26th-Jan-2008 03:49 am (UTC)
***jawdrop***

I have no words.
(Deleted comment)
26th-Jan-2008 04:18 am (UTC)
I keep trying! I need to succeed, quick!

She's meeting guys over the internet, and bringing them back to her dorm! Slasher Steve could be prowling in my hallway, and I wouldn't know!!
(Deleted comment)
27th-Jan-2008 02:23 pm (UTC)
Uh, you might want to report her to someone for that! That's realllly dangerous for everyone! D=
26th-Jan-2008 04:35 am (UTC)
She probably already has. "um, I had like, a period, like, and this, like, baby came out, and stuff, and I'm like, 'am I still a virgin' and stuff, like."
(Deleted comment)
26th-Jan-2008 06:47 am (UTC)
LOL!

*hands you an internet*
26th-Jan-2008 04:22 am (UTC)
Oh I laughed. I laughed hard. Congrats for being COMPLETELY awesome.
26th-Jan-2008 06:44 am (UTC)
"Well, that depends. Was someone else there as well?"
26th-Jan-2008 11:48 am (UTC)
WIN!!!!! xDDDD
26th-Jan-2008 03:12 pm (UTC)
LOVE the icon ... may I steal ??? One of my favorite gags from The General
26th-Jan-2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
Sure okay, just put www.leepresson.com in the comment field!
26th-Jan-2008 09:00 am (UTC)
My first thought, on reading the last sentence ("I grabbed my things, went back to my room, and lost it"): the thing being lost was your virginity.

My second thought: I just lost the game again. Way to go.
28th-Jan-2008 10:16 pm (UTC)
Thanks for that. Dammit.
29th-Jan-2008 04:11 am (UTC)
OMG FUCK YOU.

^_^
29th-Jan-2008 05:04 am (UTC)
ARGH! ::Cries::

Stupid game...
30th-Jan-2008 03:36 am (UTC)
Is that some sort of a plush mollusk on your shoulder? It's disturbingly cute.
30th-Jan-2008 03:43 am (UTC)
Why yes! It's a nautiloid that I myself knitted. :) And then gave to a friend, when she was sick.
26th-Jan-2008 01:53 pm (UTC)
At music camp (before this conversation I had thought most of the stupids hadn't bothered to show up), this girl once tried to convince a friend that she was still a virgin.
"See, the first time we gave eachother our virginity... and the second guy was also a virgin, so I got his virginity, and since I've only ever been with virgins, I'm still one, too."
My friend's reply: Revenge of the bodysnatchers... arroo??
26th-Jan-2008 04:58 pm (UTC)
So virginities are like Pokemon?
26th-Jan-2008 05:04 pm (UTC)
Or POGS?
27th-Jan-2008 09:18 am (UTC)
No no no! MARBLES!!!!
28th-Jan-2008 02:48 pm (UTC)
...Gotta pop 'em all...


(Yep. Still a very bad man.)
28th-Jan-2008 03:22 pm (UTC)
i must be a bad girl cuz that made me LOL hard.
28th-Jan-2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
ALTERNATE PUNCHLINE:

...NuvaRing, I choose you!
26th-Jan-2008 02:26 pm (UTC)
Man yet again I wonder how some people get into college.
26th-Jan-2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
By losing their virginity, usually.
28th-Jan-2008 02:49 pm (UTC)
Well, at least she still has the box it came in.
19th-Feb-2008 03:10 am (UTC)
Getting in is usually not the problem (more so at some colleges than others). If they graduate with that level of stupidity, then I'm scared.
26th-Jan-2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
It frightens me that this girl actually got into college.

Your response? Classic. ^____^
26th-Jan-2008 10:00 pm (UTC)
Yeah, she might possibly be the dumbest girl alive. I have another post for here about her too. She made another MTS worthy post today. XD
26th-Jan-2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
My awesome husband's comment:

"Well, did she take it in the ass? 'Cause then she's still a virgin."

:)
(Deleted comment)
31st-Jan-2008 10:50 pm (UTC)
depends on one's definition of virgin...
(Deleted comment)
1st-Feb-2008 04:03 am (UTC)
no, i mean, some people define a virgin as someone who hasn't had VAGINAL sex and don't count oral and anal.

i am not saying it makes sense, but that is a definition some use.
26th-Jan-2008 08:40 pm (UTC)
"Depends. Was he any good?"
29th-Jan-2008 04:01 am (UTC)
My response would have been (after the requisite moments of gaping and speechlessness) an incredulous stare and "NO! WTF"
4th-Feb-2008 10:36 pm (UTC)
Ow.

Ow ow ow ow ow.

I believe you broke my brain.
7th-Feb-2008 06:46 am (UTC)
GREAT response!

You should have asked her what she meant by 'sex'? Maybe it was cyber-sex, in which case she probably is still a virgin in the real world.

Seriously though, this made me laugh :) And between this and the 'scottish monarchy' chick, I fear for your dormmates!
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