Just because you're some kind of scientist doesn't mean you can subdue an 8-ft reptile on your own (and even if he was a zoologist specializing in reptiles, he sure shoulda known better than this):

( How to approach a gator - you *don't*. )

In extra stupid, notice how the news report says "... it's a miracle these powerful limbs didn't kill the man." Ummm yeah, cuz it'll totally box your lights out with those short legs - those jaws are just there to bark at ya. :P

I work in IT. What's worse, I'm a trainer at a call center AND I'm "quality assurance" (2 positions).

Occasionally I must go through tickets to find out why we couldn't fix them. I just passed this gems around for a good giggle and a friendly warning to my crew.

Description: Eu says that all the data in his whoami screen is blank // no other user affected

Resolution (5 days and a status call later): Worked fine after user pressed the enter key.


So not only did the initial tech fail, so did the guy that got the call for status.

The Cutty Sark, the best surviving example of a tea clipper, was re-opened by the Queen last week. Just two days later, I went to see it.

After steam powered ships became more profitable for tea trading, the Cutty Sark carried other cargoes. One of these was wool from Australia. To illustrate this, one deck had some wool bales, which measure about 5x4x4 feet, and had some facts about wool printed on the side. One such fact was that one fleece could make 8 sweaters.

I overheard this conversation:

Mother: Wow! This entire container of wool makes just 8 sweaters!

Daughter: No, one fleece makes 8 sweaters. This is a bale. It contains many fleeces.

Mother: Still, it doesn't seem right. All those sheep dying just to keep people warm!

At this point an employee jumped in to correct her, while her daughter shook her head in disbelief.

 

Dumbass siphons gas from a cop car & posts a pic of it on Facebook. Can you guess what happens next? XD




While the siphoning photo has been removed from his Facebook page, Baker yesterday updated his 380 friends on his legal problems. “just got out of jail,” he wrote in one post, adding later that “yea lol i went too jail over facebook.” Responding to a friend who had not seen the image before it was yanked, Baker assured, “yea lol u would just have to seen it it was funny as hell tho.”

I work with the sweetest coworker ever, but sometimes not the brightest. The other day during lunch she asked me if Poland was cold and it eventually got to me commenting about how Americans don't know jackshit about geography. To test my point, I asked where countries were located.

N: So where's New Zealand?
I figured Lord of the Rings right? Everyone knows where NZ is.
Coworker: Ummm... let me think ... next to Scotland!

http://www.iol.co.za/news/back-page/wanted-a-midget-to-kick-ex-lover-1.1247134

A Joburg man has taken to an online forum to request that a midget kick his ex-girlfriend. And he’s quite upset that he isn’t being taken seriously.

GEE I WONDER WHY!



During a phone interview with The Star on Thursday, Brett seemed appalled at the suggestion that his advert might be a joke.

“I clearly took it out because I want my ex-girlfriend to be kicked in the shins,” he said. “Midget revenge is the only form of revenge that works these days.”

He rejected the assertion that his actions were discriminatory towards little people. “F*** if I care,” he said. “They know they are midgets. I’m not being politically correct about this.”

He took a similar stance on violence. “Violence would be if I asked the midget to kick her hard and then set her on fire.”

I'm no lawyer, but anyone wanna set the record straight on what constitutes assault & conspiracy? ;)

As posted on leasthelpful.com....

http://leasthelpful.com/post/18494440942/its-basically-racist-to-be-gay





Please, my friends, rip this nimrod a new one.

I only heard the end of this conversation so I don't know how Margaret Thatcher came up, but she did:

Friend: Margaret Thatcher?! I love her! Isn't she a dancer?

Yes the abortion complex will be opening soon!

Oh wait, you mean The Onion is satire? But elected officials don't understand satire!

Congressman Sources An Onion Article As Fact On Facebook