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Poking idiots in the eye since 2002
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28th-Oct-2013 09:37 am - Possibly semi-literate
maggie-chan
So I'm at the supermarket, and I want to buy some Bertolli pasta, because of their gay-friendy ads. There's lots and lots of Barilla pasta (they of the gay-unfriendly gaffe), and lesser quantities of various other brands. Don't see any Bertolli.

Just then this guy comes along, seems to be dressed like a supervisor or something. So I ask him, sir, do you have any Bertolli pasta? Oh sure, it's right there. He gestures towards some boxes.

So I point to one. Can't hide the annoyance in my voice. "Sir, what does that say?"

Actually took him a couple of seconds.

"Oh! 'Barilia'!"
15th-Jul-2013 02:14 pm(no subject)
wonderful wonder
This is a post I saw yesterday on Tumblr. I don't think it needs any introduction.

how language works

A few of us tentatively asked this person for clarification, and received confirmation that s/he honestly didn't realize that 1) people in other countries besides Australia can speak English, 2) it's possible to type in more than one language, and 3) the Internet does not automatically translate everything into English.
27th-May-2013 09:48 am(no subject)
Bandit Driving
A few years ago my boyfriend was working at a restaurant with the word Street in its name. One night he was tasked with creating some flyers for an upcoming event they were putting on. Problem was that he couldn't figure out how to spell "Street". He grabbed one of his work shirts but was convinced that street was misspelled on it. He even made a note to tell his boss in the morning about the issue. Still, he had to get those flyers done so he decided to take a stroll to the end of the block to look at the road sign where he learned two things; they abbreviate the signs and he lives on an ave.
Daphne
This happened a few weeks ago, I've just forgotten about it until last night when I was talking to hubby about it. It was when hubby's brother and brother's girlfriend were both living at our place. Every night around the same time I'd go downstairs to cook something for my hubby, my daughter, and me, and they would be downstairs in the living room watching the same subtitled anime series on the Crunchyroll channel on Roku. This was a fairly ordinary occurrence for the past two weeks and I didn't think anything of it. However, as I was getting finished with the meal, I happened to hear the following conversation as the anime ended:

HB: That show's finally starting to get interesting.
GF: Yeah, but don't you ever wonder what it is they're saying?
HB: What do you mean?
GF: Like what all that stuff means in English.
HB: ...There are words translated at the bottom of the screen. Didn't you see them?
GF: Yeah, I just thought those were extended credits or something.

Keep in mind, those two have been watching the same subtitled anime together for at least two weeks (that I've seen) and she's never figured out the entire time that there was a translation at the bottom of the screen. Extended credits throughout the whole show - who does that?
22nd-May-2013 09:27 pm(no subject)
NMBCJ
"Because making a zine on breaking the law while also posting pictures of yourself is a brilliant thing to do."

For the linkphobes, this person posted on her Tumblr, which also has a tag for pictures of herself, asking for submissions to an online zine on shoplifting. If it was analysis of the phenomenon and social issues surrounding it, that wouldn't be a problem, but no, she specifies that "how to" articles are welcome.
21st-May-2013 07:28 pm(no subject)
Arisu
The 25 Most Insane Protester Signs. (Probably not worksafe.) Some of them are sarcastic; my favourite is the one with a rainbow flag in one hand and a sign declaring that all computers should be destroyed because Alan Turing was gay in the other, the sign clearly having been made on a computer. At least I hope that one was sarcastic. On the other hand, "Who Needs Oil? I Ride The Bus" appears to be serious.
10th-May-2013 11:37 am - Africa stupids
Pirate
Two stupids that were said by a friend I was with in Africa:

First stupid: We were visiting a witchdoctor who I have known for many years and who recently divorced one of his four wives. As I was explaining to my friend that the guy now has three wives and he used to have four, a duck waddled past. I told my friend he had turned his wife into a duck. We both chuckled and I thought nothing more of it until the next day when my friend took me to one side and asked me in all seriousness if that really was his wife.

Second stupid: We were heading to the home of a blind man. A car drove past and I waved at the driver who was the sole occupant of the vehicle and he in turn waved back. My friend then asked me if that was the guy we were visiting.
berlin
Because, haven't you heard, Liberals = Hitler!

(I seriously can't believe that there are people who actually believe that to be true. And share it on Facebook. And then argue back "you're reactionary" when getting pointed out why that is stupid, with a ton of arguments, such as "Gun control legislation does not equal being responsible for the death of 70 million people. Still, this just happened to me.)
24th-Apr-2013 07:49 pm - Anti-fluoride nutballs
sigil
Here in Portland, the issue of putting fluoride in water has come up. Which came as a shock to me; I've lived in so many cities, and they all did fluoride in the water, that I naturally assumed that every city in the Western world was already doing it. After all, it's proven to be a safe and cheap means of preventing tooth decay, and the only arguments against it the anti-fluoride idiots can give is either "OMG it's a mind control substance!" or some unproven BS about it being rat poison, and of course they never cite any reputable sources for this crap they spew.

So it pisses me off that at least a third of the population of Portland seems to have these damned "Vote NO on fluoridation chemicals" signs. I've been trying to find the "vote YES" version. I may be forced to make my own sign, that says "Vote YES on putting floride in water because only morons are opposed to it."

About the only good thing about these stupid signs is that a good chunk of the "morons with not enough brains to fill an egg cup" population of Portland are now clearly labeled.
Saw this in my local paper this week, and I just had to share it with you guys....

The gist of the link:

A dude drives to our local RCMP detachment to pick up his buddy from the drunk tank.  The cops see him bobbing and weaving, and give him a breathalyzer test.  He tests at over TWICE the legal limit, and is arrested on the spot for drunk driving and public drunkenness.

I swear, you can't make this stuff up....
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